


motley

by cautiouslyoptimistic



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:20:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 34,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25881985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cautiouslyoptimistic/pseuds/cautiouslyoptimistic
Summary: or, a series of prompt fills
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 98
Kudos: 481





	1. exception

**Author's Note:**

> I post a lot of my prompts only on tumblr because they're asks and the prompt is fairly short and I'm also egregiously forgetful/lazy. but I'm all about convenience, so this will be a collection of old and new prompts from tumblr so everything can be in one place. (and I promise not to delete anything this time) 
> 
> anyway fun fact: rewatching season 1 of supergirl is bittersweet because it's so good but I miss it so much

The first time she knew her mother (her _adoptive_ mother, as Lillian liked to remind her) didn’t love her, she’d been newly adopted and Lillian had taken her aside and told her in no uncertain terms that she would _never_ be a true Luthor. (Not that she cared. She hadn’t even known what being a Luthor entailed—how could she aspire to something she didn’t understand?)

(She knew Lex didn’t love her because he hadn’t stopped, he hadn’t come back to her, and wasn’t that what love was all about? Being the best you could be for the ones you love? Isn’t that what happened in movies all the time, people ‘changing’ for the sake of love?)

Lena was rather sure she’d _never_ been loved. She was sure because her experience with love was totally immersive and completely overwhelming. It was as if she couldn’t love without giving it her all, putting every single ounce of herself out there, loving fully and unabashedly. (She would have given anything, her name, her money, her heart, her _soul_ , to save Lex. He was her brother, her only family. There was nothing she wasn’t willing to sacrifice for him to come back to her. But Lex….) Lena, who wanted nothing more than to love and be loved in return, didn’t understand where she’d gone wrong. She was doing exactly what all those books and movies said to: she loved and loved and loved, coming back stronger and more resilient each time her heart was broken. She bore the pain, the loneliness, the heartbreak, sure that somehow, as long as she kept at it, she’d finally get what everyone else took for granted. It took her years, but she finally understood.

Love, this notion she’d spent her entire life chasing, was nothing but a shadow—a glimmer of something that continuously remained just out of reach. The truth was love was much like what she’d said to Kara about good and evil: some people were born loved and some people just weren’t. And Lena was one of the latter.

She was okay with it. She’d accepted it. Moved on. So she didn’t understand why she’d be so foolish as to fall in love with Kara Danvers.

(Love, she’d learned, never came her way. Love, she’d learned, was destined to end in heartbreak. Love, she’d learned, wasn’t for her.)

(So why did she hope that Kara would be the exception?)

i.

“Your sister doesn’t like me, does she?” Lena asked as she helped Kara collect the empty beer bottles scattered across the reporter’s apartment. They’d had a ‘game night’ and Kara had insisted that Lena was obviously invited, telling her in no uncertain terms that her presence was required. And while James and Winn had seemed to make an effort (if effort constituted actively not throwing vitriol her way), Alex’s distrustful gaze had never ventured too far from Lena.

“What? Pshh, of course she likes you, where’d you get that idea?” Kara answered, but she was playing with her glasses the entire time, ducking her head, and frowning. Lena wondered if Kara knew she was a bad liar.

“She was glaring at me the whole time, Kara.”

“Alex just…she’s a big sister. She’s protective.”

“She thinks I’m going to hurt you because I’m a Luthor?” Lena asked incredulously, feeling both vindicated and frustrated that her hunch had been proven right. So even amongst Kara’s friends she was nothing more than a Luthor, nothing more than someone destined to cause harm and wreak havoc and—

“She’s um, well, she’s protecting me from myself, actually,” Kara cut into Lena’s mental tirade, shocking her enough that for a moment she couldn’t even remember what she was ranting about. She wasn’t given the chance to find her footing, though. Kara kept talking. “I have a tendency to be…rash, I suppose. You know, with my feelings.”

“I don’t understand,” Lena found herself saying, blinking at Kara in confusion. Kara straightened her glasses, pushing them back up the bridge of her nose, before meeting Lena’s gaze.

“It’s just….” She trailed off, taking a deep breath and smiling oddly. (Lena was beginning to learn all of Kara’s smiles; she knew Kara used her smile to hide, much like she did herself. She knew most of Kara’s smiles: the ones when she was uncomfortable, when she was sad, when she was lying, when she was nervous. But Lena had never seen _this_ smile.) “I’m so glad you came, Lena. I know what it’s like to feel alone and I’m…well, I’m glad you took a chance on me and my friends.” She cleared her throat and shrugged, turning around to throw some trash away. “And they do like you. My friends and sister. I can tell from the fact that they didn’t let you win at Scrabble.”

“You all take Scrabble that seriously?” Lena asked, deciding it was best not to argue even if she thought Kara was wrong, even if she thought Kara was just trying to be kind. “It’s just a game.”

“Just a game?” Kara repeated, looking offended. “Now that’s just wrong. Game Night is a time-honored tradition around here, Lena. You’re going to have to get used to it.”

(She didn’t think Kara actually meant it—she didn’t think she’d be invited again. But after that day, without fail, Lena was invited to Game Night every single week.)

(But that didn’t mean anything.)

ii.

When she was younger, she learned it was best to keep her feelings to herself, especially when she was around Lillian. She made an effort to maintain an impassive and suave (or so she liked to think) expression, liking how appearing unruffled no matter what was said would upset Lillian who Lena was rather sure thrived on causing trouble. (Her mother was never malicious or cruel, she never made any effort to actually _hurt_ Lena—at least, beyond making sure Lena was aware that she wasn’t loved.)

Naturally, this practice became habit, and by the time she was in charge of L-Corp, she didn’t have much hope for anyone ever noticing that something was wrong. After all, who would care to pay enough attention that they notice her rare slip-ups?

“So what’s up with you?” Kara asked suddenly, shoving her hands deeper into her coat pockets, wiggling her nose against the cold. If Lena hadn’t been so shocked by the question, she would have had the time to find Kara adorable. (Admittedly, she always found Kara adorable.)

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve been gnawing on your lip for the last ten minutes.” Lena stopped walking, crossing her arms over her chest as she stared at Kara, not sure if she felt confused or admiration or affection or— “So? You okay?”

“I’m fine.”

“Right. So just to clarify, was that a ‘I don’t want to talk about it’ I’m fine, or a ‘this is none of your business, butt out’ sort of I’m fine? Because those are two very different things.” Kara smiled at Lena, and it was another one of the smiles Lena had yet experienced. But this time, she felt she was sure what it meant. (Something along the lines of, _you can tell me anything_. Something along the lines of, _I’m your friend_. Something along the lines of, _you can trust me_.)

(She wasn’t quite sure why she believed Kara’s smile when experience told her she was being taken for a sucker.)

“Lex sent me a letter.”

“Oh wow.” And in a move that left Lena breathless, because this, _this_ is not something she had ever experienced, Kara reached out and pulled Lena into a gentle one-armed hug. Lena was too surprised and overwhelmed and _aching_ to hug Kara back before she pulled away and studied Lena’s face intently. “Are you okay?” she asked, looking like she genuinely wanted to know, like she genuinely care about the answer. She didn’t pry, she didn’t ask invasive questions about what Lex would want from her, she just…cared. (Cared about Lena, but that didn’t make any sense. That was _not_ anything she’d ever experienced.)

“No,” she admitted after a long moment. _This_ , she thought. _This is the moment she leaves. This is the moment she breaks my heart_.

But instead:

“Okay, so when I want to feel better, I like potstickers and ice cream and bad movies. Alex likes to drink.” She paused, frowning. “A lot. I should probably have a talk with her about that.” She blinked several times and shook her head violently. “But this is about you! If you could do anything right now, anything at all, what would it be?”

( _I want to kiss you_ , she thought.)

“I want to drink expensive wine and eat the greasiest burger in National City,” she said.

“Then let’s do it! You provide the expensive wine and I’ll track down the burger, and we’ll make a night out of it.”

“Really?”

“Of course,” Kara answered easily, as if this wasn’t a big deal, as if she wasn’t rewriting everything Lena thought she knew with a two simple words. “I promise you’ll feel better.”

(Lena wanted to explain that that wasn’t what she meant, wanted ask Kara what she was trying to gain out of all this.)

(But Kara smiled that smile Lena didn’t understand, and Lena could do nothing but smile back.)

iii.

After that first hug (which Lena had etched into her memory from the number of times she replayed it in her mind), Kara became alarmingly affectionate. She’d hook their arms together as they walked together to get coffee, she’d greet Lena with a tight hug (she’d also leave Lena with a tight hug), and she seemed endlessly fascinated with squeezing Lena’s hand every chance she got.

In all honesty, it was probably all the _touching_ that led to her discovering Kara’s secret. After all, the touching made her more aware of the way Kara smelled (like a meadow, like fresh air, like the sky just after it’s rained). It was all the touching that made Lena stare longer, frantically searching for that thing _,_ that _thing_ that would make all this make sense. It was all the touching that left Lena with a vast knowledge of just how Kara’s skin felt against hers, from the warmth to the softness to the electrical thrumming between them.

It was only natural for her to realize that Supergirl and Kara were the same person after the former saved her from a disgruntled employee. She was a scientist first and foremost, it was insulting to think that she wouldn’t eventually figure it out—that she wouldn’t notice the flowery perfume, the same eyes, the soft, _thrumming_ skin. (She thought that insulted was the entirety of it—she was insulted that Kara had thought she wouldn’t connect the dots, wouldn’t notice how Kara was never available when Supergirl was, how Kara magically always appeared shortly after Supergirl flew off, how Kara’s absences coincided with situations in National City that required Supergirl’s attention. She thought that she was insulted, but she was also angry and frustrated and annoyed and—)

(Hurt, she was _hurt_ , because this was another lie, another betrayal, another person letting her down and proving her right about love.)

She wanted to hate Kara. She wanted to yell and punch and scream and kiss—

Lena Luthor was very good at hiding what she felt. (Too good, sometimes.) So when Kara arrived at L-Corp late one evening after Lena had made up some excuse about missing Game Night because of work, it was easy to pretend nothing was wrong.

“I brought you dinner,” she said, holding up a bag as she walked into Lena’s office. Lena wanted to ask her why she bothered with stairs when she could’ve just flown in through the window. “Game Night sort of fell apart without you,” she continued, settling down at the chair across from Lena’s desk. It was an innocuous enough comment, but it made Lena’s heart race, made her wish things were different, that Kara would be the exception. “James and Winn said poker wasn’t any fun without you, because apparently I’m a bad liar.” Lena disagreed. She’d once thought Kara was a bad liar too, but look how long she’d managed to hide the biggest secret of all. “And Alex and Maggie are at that stage as a couple, you know, the one where they’re just super gross all the time?” She shrugged and handed Lena a pair of chopsticks. “Anyway, my point is, Game Night is not Game Night without Lena Luthor.”

“There’s nothing else you have to do? Nothing that would prevent you from spending time with me?”

“Um, no. Wait. Maybe…?” Her eyes widened and she put her carton of food aside, reaching into her bag for a pen before scrawling something on her hand. “Carr wanted me to edit my last piece, but he’s crazy if he thinks I’m taking out the last paragraph, I’m super fond of it.”

“Kara, you don’t have to be here,” Lena tried again, and this time something must’ve shown on her face because her comments finally gave Kara pause.

“I’ve upset you.” She stated it as a fact, her expression turning earnest when Lena’s silence gave her all the confirmation she needed. “I swear I wasn’t the one who told Winn you cheat at poker,” Kara said, wiggling her nose as she did so. She was such a bad liar, so how had she been able to hide Supergirl? “Okay, I was. But that’s only because you made him look bad and Winn…well, Winn is fragile. He needs to be coddled.”

“That’s not is, Kara.”

“Okay, then what is it?”

“It doesn’t matter—”

“Of course it matters! How you feel matters. You’re smart and kind and generous and you’re my _friend_ and _you matter_.” She was on the literal edge of her seat as she stared at Lena, as if begging her to understand. “Please, tell me what’s wrong.”

( _What’s wrong is that I want to kiss you,_ she thought. _What’s wrong is that I can’t trust you._ )

“How do you know Supergirl?” (One test. That would be what she’d give Kara. One chance in light of their friendship, in light of the feelings she had for the reporter/superhero. One test, that was all.)

“Gosh,” Kara began, letting out a sigh, and Lena braced herself for the lie, “you know, I had it all planned out.” Lena blinked, the conversation taking a turn she’d not been expecting. “I wanted to surprise you, just jump off a roof like I did with Winn.” She smiled her unrecognizable smile without meeting Lena’s eyes. “You’re so smart, I should’ve known you’d figure it out. Though to be fair to myself, you’re only the second person who’s figured it out on their own.” Lena tried not to let the compliments cloud her judgment, cloud her ire.

“So they all know? James, Winn, Alex, and Maggie?”

“Not Maggie. Though Alex has been trying to convince me to tell her. Apparently Maggie is getting a little jealous of Supergirl.” A pause followed, a long one that went unbroken by Lena, making Kara’s face fall. “Since I landed on Earth, I’ve hidden who I am. It’s become second nature to me. It just…it takes a while to work up the courage to admit the truth.”

( _Yes_ , Lena wanted to cry out, _the truth is I love you._ )

( _Yes_ , Lena didn’t have the courage to say, _the truth is that I love you, but I’m still waiting for the other shoe to drop._ )

iv.

She’d heard that Supergirl had been injured, that Supergirl was hurt, and it felt as if her heart had been ripped right out of her chest. (Love, she remembered, only brought pain.)

It took a lot of convincing, but she finally managed to get Alex to take her to the DEO headquarters, to take her to see Kara. The sight of the reporter laying motionless on the bed surrounded by bright yellow lights sent Lena’s heart into overdrive, but all she did was sit at the chair next to the bed and waited. (Love, she remembered, wasn’t for her.)

She wasn’t quite sure when she started crying or when Kara woke up and pulled her into her arms. She wasn’t quite sure when she kissed Kara, when Kara kissed back, when Kara began shedding her own tears. She didn’t know what Kara said between kisses, didn’t know what Kara’s smile meant or why her eyes and her touch left Lena feeling breathless and overwhelmed and _full_ , but she didn’t care.

All she knew was that Kara was alive, was in her arms, was warm and soft and smelling of flowers.

(And Lena was in love.)

(She was in love, and she expected nothing in return—not love, not warmth, not change, not betterment. She loved Kara and that was just…enough.)

v.

They were on the couch, her back pressed against Kara’s front, Kara’s hands running through her hair idly as they watched a movie, when the reporter said it for the first time. It came out softly, stated as a fact, with all the confidence of Supergirl and all the adorableness of Kara. It was only three words, three words that Lena had heard before from others but hadn’t believed because she knew better.

“I love you,” Kara said simply, as if there was nothing truer in the world, nothing that made more sense, and Lena finally understands the smile.

(Kara said she loved her, and Lena believed it.)

(After all, Kara was the exception.)


	2. a summer sort of girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fun fact: I don't remember what this fic was called whoops
> 
> UPDATE: it now has its correct title

i.

It feels colder in National City than it ever did in Metropolis. She’s not altogether sure why. It’s almost as if the wind is sharper, as if the sun’s rays only barely manage to reach the skyline of the city, their warmth being snatched away by the girl in the cape. Sometimes, as she walks to L-Corp ( _her_ building she reminds herself forcefully), she thinks the trees shiver in the breeze and their leaves chatter in the cold as they fall to the ground, crushed by commuters who remain oblivious to their screech of pain.

Then again, her mother has always said she has quite the imagination (and an unfortunate flair for the dramatics).

Lena smiles to herself as she checks her make-up one last time, unnecessarily straightening her dress, wiggling her toes in her heels. Lex had always called her pre-meeting preparations her ‘body armor.’ It was a façade, he would grin, hand on her shoulder. It was a defense. (The truth is a little more nuanced—after all, she has learned that the best defense is a killer offense.)

She pulls on her coat, mentally preparing herself for the onslaught of chilly air she will face outside, and leaves her building for the lunch meeting. They were a few of Lex’s old contacts, men who believed she would honor her brother’s deals with them. From the few calls she’d already had with them, they thought her an easy target, someone they could manipulate in order to become richer—someone they felt they could threaten or scare into falling in line.

In short, they were fools.

As the light for pedestrians turns green, Lena numbly follows the crowd of commuters to the other side of the street, straggling a bit behind. Her thoughts are on her plans for Lex’s contacts and on her mother’s recent strange behavior. (Though, to be perfectly frank, she’s not quite sure why she cares: her mother has always been strange and has always had an overt preference for Lex. If anyone needed to take care of her, it should be _his_ responsibility.) Lena’s mind is on everything, really, except on the car that comes hurtling down the street, traffic laws and speed limits utterly forgotten.

She looks up at the sound of a car’s horn, braces herself (though she’s not quite sure for what, impact? death? release?), and feels her feet lift off the ground.

(For a second she wonders if this is what dying feels like, weightless and warm, but then the sounds of the street come back to her.)

“It’s always men who drive like that,” comes a voice from right behind Lena’s head, the warmth disappearing as Lena’s feet touch the ground once more. She turns, unsurprised to see Supergirl standing there, her brow furrowed as she studies the car that had veered into a lamppost instead of slamming into Lena. “I don’t know why,” she mutters, shaking her head, finally turning to face Lena, a smile on her face. “I’m glad you’re okay, though. You should probably be more careful as you cross the street.”

“Thank you, Supergirl,” Lena says, the words not seeming like they’re enough, though they’re all she can think so say.

“I guess we’re even now,” Supergirl laughs, hands on her hips. “You saved me at the Gala, I saved you from a car.” Lena forces a laugh, her practiced smile finding its way onto her lips, something she falls back on the second she feels unsure or afraid. (And she is both unsure and afraid of Supergirl.)

(She’s not quite sure why.)

“I’ll see you around, Ms. Luthor,” Supergirl says, and she’s gone, leaving behind only a gust of wind in her wake.

And, for whatever reason, the wind feels warm.

ii.

The first time Kara does it, Lena writes it off as a friendly gesture. She _likes_ Kara (more than she probably should, actually), and she values their friendship. It’s not that it’s hard for her to make friends, she never really had trouble with it growing up, it’s that she’s no longer sure she’s quite sure what it means to have a friend.

And Kara—well, Kara listens and smiles and pays attention, asking about how Lena is doing and not about how much money she made in the last quarter.

Kara is a _friend_ , Lena knows that. And friends visit unexpectedly, bringing lunch with them. It’s not a big deal. (At least, not the first time. Not even the second or third time. But when Kara had invited herself over for lunch everyday for about a week, Lena couldn’t help but feel…well, feel _something_.)

“He’s just so… _mean_ ,” Kara is saying, waving her fork in the air, eyebrows scrunched together as if she’s trying to think of something worse than ‘mean’ and is falling short. “I am a reporter. I _am_.”

“You are,” Lena agrees, quelling that _something_ that surges when she looks at Kara. She dabs her mouth with her napkin as she fights to regain control of her emotions. “Is that why you come here for lunch everyday? To escape Snapper?”

“Oh, well. I mean…ha ha,” Kara says, ducking her head and playing with her glasses. “I just thought…well….” She trails off, seemingly unwilling or unable to finish her thought. Concerned, Lena puts her fork down and leans towards Kara, placing a hand on her elbow, hoping this would give her a measure of comfort. If anything, Kara looks more unsettled that before, her eyes darting around the room, focusing on anything and everything but Lena.

“You know you can tell me anything, right Kara?”

“I thought if you had lunch with someone it might make sure you actually eat, that’s all.” She says it quickly, as if the faster she gets it out, the faster Lena would drop the subject. But all Kara’s words do is make her feel another surge of that _something_ (she thinks the feeling falls somewhere between suspicion and affection, though naturally, she’s unable to figure out which), leading to a small smile—a _genuine_ smile—tugging at her lips.

“That’s very sweet,” Lena says, squeezing Kara’s elbow before releasing her. “I have been a bit distracted lately.” Kara mumbles something under her breath, something that sounds a lot like _I know_ , which Lena is sure is a figment of her overactive imagination, naturally. After all, how would _Kara_ know?

(Kara, who she smiled at and talked to, who she told about Lex, but not her mother’s darkness or the fear that traces her every step: that she too is destined to be like the other Luthors.)

“Whatever it is, you know you can talk to me, right?” Kara asks slowly, carefully, hesitantly, like she’s afraid Lena might find the offer unattractive, a breach of the boundaries they’ve so carefully constructed around each other. (Lena doesn’t talk about her fears, and Kara refuses to speak about her own.)

“Thank you, Kara,” Lena says after a silence that stretches a moment too long, ensuring that Kara sees how utterly _tempting_ her offer is. “But lunch with you everyday is enough. You’re a lifesaver.”

Kara only smiles at her in response, but from that moment, Lena is unable to shake off that _something_ she feels whenever Kara is near.

iii.

She doesn’t like snow until she sees the look of joy on Kara Danvers’ face the night National City gets a dusting of the white fluff.

Kara’s daily lunches with her had inevitably come to a stop. Lena had a business to run, and while she knew Kara disapproved, marketing the alien detection technology was important—something Lena was quite determined to make sure everyone had access to. And Kara…well, Kara always seemed to be in a rush to go somewhere. She was a reporter, racing wherever her leads took her.

But though the lunches ceased, Lena found excuses to see Kara rather regularly, aided by the fact that Kara was always doing something she thought Lena would enjoy. So instead of a hurried lunch hour, the two of them would spend one or two evenings a week together. (And if Kara left early inconveniently often, Lena understood. Her sister was going through a rough time—if Lena though Lex could still be saved, no force on earth would have been strong enough to drag her away from him.)

Tonight, however, Kara had sat through the entire documentary, eyes wide as she chewed on popcorn and listened to the narrator drone on about aquatic life. Her focus had been on the screen, Lena’s had been on Kara, and when Lena had walked Kara out, Kara had the same childlike reaction to the snow as she’d had to coral reefs: glee.

It’s cold and Lena thinks she may need two or three more sweaters just to brave the chill, but she laughs when Kara stares up at the sky with an open mouth, she ducks her head to hide her pink cheeks when Kara grabs her by the hand and forces her to help make ‘the world’s tiniest snowman.’

It’s cold and Lena has always hated the cold, but that _something_ stirs in her chest, and her skin is warm wherever Kara’s fingers have brushed it, and she’d brave snowstorms and blizzards if it only meant seeing Kara smile.

iv.

Spring creeps up on her, something she’s not quite sure has ever happened. Winters always seemed so long and so harsh that she documented every single change in temperature, grinning like a fool when the world flooded with green once more.

But she found that when she was among Kara and her friends—out drinking beers or settled on Kara’s couch, watching some random movie—she felt content and happy and _warm_ , and she didn’t count down the days until the flowers would begin to bloom again and the trees would stop looking so naked. Spending time with Kara and her friends (though she mostly gave credit to Kara alone) made barren winters seem not so devoid of life.

In all honesty, she can’t quite figure out the moment she knew the truth. It had been obvious for a while—Kara didn’t really make much of an effort to keep her excuses believable, and she always seemed to conveniently be absent whenever Supergirl was around—but Lena hadn’t wanted to accept it. And despite what Alex thinks, despite her knowing looks and distrustful glares, Lena is not angry or scared or upset that Kara Danvers is Supergirl. Her avoiding the truth has less to do with Kara’s status as an alien and more to do with her own insecurities and fears.

She knows who Kara really is, but she pushes the thought away, scared that her being a Luthor would be too much for Supergirl. She knows the truth, but she ignores it in a futile attempt to somehow make it untrue (as if her denial would change Kara’s DNA), because she has no idea if she would love Spring as much if Kara isn’t there to point out flowers and talk about bees.

She’s known about Kara for a while, known about Supergirl, but she keeps it to herself—keeps quiet—because she’s deathly afraid that that _something_ would be lost, that the cold would once more become unbearable.

Lena has just learned what it meant to be _warm_ , so when it looks like Kara is on the verge of telling her, Lena flees, and she finds herself feeling cold anyway.

v.

She’s hot and sweaty when she runs into Kara. The air conditioning in her building is faulty, the men she hired to fix the issue taking far too long, and so she had decided to take refuge in the coffee shop not too far from Catco. (She doesn’t dwell for too long on why that is.) But the day is muggy and even the short trek from her office to the coffee shop leaves her feeling disgusting. But Kara smiles wide when she sees Lena, her hands immediately going up to her glasses, looking like there’s no one she wanted to see more than Lena.

(And Lena, she feels that _something_ in her chest swell, feels her cheeks heat, feels her heart race, pounding against her ribs.)

“Lena, hey,” Kara begins awkwardly, still smiling. “You’re out of the office.” She sounds surprised, and she should be. Lena had practically barricaded herself in her office for the past several months, going longer and longer without seeing Kara, trying to wean herself off the drug that was Kara’s smile. (It didn’t help that Kara was tenacious and refused to let Lena mope. It didn’t help that her assistant let Kara up without question. It didn’t help that Kara was… _Kara_.)

“Air conditioning is broken,” Lena explains, gesturing to the laptop and stacks of paper she’s carrying. “I came here to work.”

“Okay, go sit. I’ll get you an iced tea.”

“That’s really not—”

“Go sit,” Kara pushes, grinning slightly. Less than ten minutes later, Lena finds herself at a table, sipping on an iced tea, Kara sitting across from her, a wide smile on her face. “So…” she begins, “how’re you?”

“I know I’ve been distant. I’m sorry. It’s just—” She cuts herself off when she noticed Kara is shaking her head.

“You don’t need to explain anything to me,” she says, straightening her glasses. “I mean, I would like you to. But knowing that you’re okay is enough. For me, that is. You should probably talk to someone. Not me! Unless you want to. Am I making sense?” she finishes lamely, looking at Lena with a bashful expression.

And that _something_ suddenly has a name. (Honestly, she should’ve seen it coming.)

“Actually,” she says slowly, for once not thinking things through, for once not letting the name Luthor and her own fears control her actions, “there is something I want to tell you. But first, tell me what you’ve been up to. Leave nothing out.”


	3. connection

Though Lillian had never been exactly _loving_ growing up, Lena had been remarkably close to her adoptive grandparents, spending much of her time off from school in their manor, spending holidays that Lex was away with the very people Lillian both spoke so fondly of and mostly ignored, often finding herself feeling lighter afterwards—feeling better.

(She sometimes wondered what had made Lillian so different, why her grandparents were so kind and tolerant and Lillian was so… _Lillian_.

She wondered, but she never went further than that, deciding she didn’t very much want to know if the variable that caused such a difference in parental style was Lena herself.)

When she was fifteen, she had spent nearly an entire summer with her grandparents, helping out her grandmother with odds and ends as her grandfather had fallen rather ill. She still could remember the afternoons she spent laughing as she and her grandmother attempted to make cookies though neither of them had experience with baking. It had always ended in chaos, the man who worked in the kitchens looking on at the flour caked hair and aprons riddled with raw eggs with poorly concealed amusement.

It was during one of those afternoons—attempting to make her grandfather’s favorite cookies—that her grandmother offhandedly joked that the way to anyone’s heart was through their stomach.

(Much like with Lex’s madness, her distant relationship with her mother, and the wasted expectations and hint of pride her father had for her, Lena chose not to dwell on how a week later, her grandfather passed away, followed by his wife two days later, making it the best and worst summer of Lena’s life.)

Her grandmother’s joking advice, however, is something that Lena hasn’t been able to shake off the last few weeks. Since meeting Kara, Lena has been quite aware that the reporter is terribly fond of food in general—her favorites becoming cause for celebration. It’s been remarkably easy to make her girlfriend happy with a few boxes of take out and a carton or two of ice cream. Except, as Lena has begun to learn, she’s not the only one aware of how easy it is to win Kara’s love through food.

And quite frankly, she doesn’t appreciate the attempts to outdo her.

“Pizza from the place you had your first date? I know what you’re doing, _Luthor,_ ” Alex hisses one night, dragging Lena to the kitchen and narrowing her eyes. “It’s a low blow, but it’s not gonna work.”

“You brought ice cream _and_ donuts, _Agent Danvers_ ,” Lena hisses right back, crossing her arms over her chest even as she keeps her eyes fixed on the back of Kara’s head, hoping her girlfriend is properly distracted by the food and Winn’s admittedly terrible jokes. “I know what _you’re_ doing.”

“I’m her sister, it’s my right to spoil her and bring her the things she loves.”

“As if, you just want to win, and I’m telling you now, Alex, I _never_ lose.”

Alex opens her mouth—likely to argue her point, probably to bring up a whole host of things Lena has lost at since she started dating Kara—but she’s interrupted by James entering the apartment, a bag full of what smells unmistakably of potstickers.

“Kara,” he calls, grinning at where Lena and Alex are huddled, eyes narrowing in unison, “I got your _favorite_.”

“Team up and destroy James?” Alex asks, not looking at Lena. It makes her snort and stick out her hand, offering Alex a curt handshake.

“Definitely. At least if you win, I’ll have lost to her sister. I don’t think I could bear losing to her ex.”

x

It’s after three months of dating Kara that Winn brought everything to a crashing halt with what he dubbed the ‘how well do you know Kara?’ game.

It had happened during one of their weekly game nights (though it’s not really weekly anymore, Alex choosing to spend her free nights with Maggie, Lena and Kara invested mostly in each other, and James too busy managing CatCo to even have time to breathe). Alex had just decimated Lena in a game of poker, Winn was sulking because he’d lost every single hand, and rather than allow Kara to pull out Scrabble, he became insistent on making up something new.

(Later, he’d admit to Lena it was because he still felt bad over the whole ‘Guardian’ thing, abandoning Kara despite not intending to, over letting her think that there was anything that could get in the way of their friendship.

He’d tell her he wasn’t sorry that he chose to help in his own way, but that he was sorry he and James made Kara feel alone, as if she couldn’t talk to them, not quite realizing how deep her fear of loss truly went.)

The game of ‘how well do you know Kara’ somehow ended in a tie. Lena was rather sure that the only reason Alex hadn’t destroyed them was because Maggie distracted her every time Kara scratched her nose, eyes fixed on the ceiling.

(Later, Maggie would admit to Lena that Kara was pulling for Lena the whole time, and the cheating had been a way to limit Alex’s totally unfair advantage.

She’d tell Lena that while she loved Alex, the competitiveness was a little bit intense, and she sort of wanted to see her girlfriend lose too—a tiny bit bitter over all the games of pool she’d lost over the course of her relationship with Alex.) 

Kara was supposed to break the tie with one final question, but instead she inadvertently started an entirely new competition by suggesting no one actually knew what her favorite food was.

It led to weeks of take out and pastries and cooking frenzies until everyone forgot what they were vying for in the first place, mostly concerned with outdoing one another.

(James managed to get Kara to smile widely with sticky buns from a coffee shop Lena had never heard of, but Lena had quickly rebounded with sushi from the restaurant she and Kara had their third date at, only losing to Alex’s pastrami sandwich that ‘reminded Kara of home.’

Maggie and Mon-El took themselves out of the competition after a few days. Winn lasted two weeks. But James and Alex…they were giving Lena a run for her money.

Considering how much she was worth, that was saying something.)

And through it all, Kara just laughs.

x

“Winn says James has been talking about a new Chinese place that’s opened up in Metropolis. Apparently, Clark _swears_ by it, and he’s willing to do James a favor.”

“One call and I can have the place closed down,” Lena says, raising her eyebrows at Alex. Rather than immediately shake her head, Alex actually looks like she’s considering the suggestion made in jest, her brows furrowing in contemplation. “Alex…you know I wouldn’t actually do that, right? Not even for Kara?”

“Right. Of course not. That’s going too far.”

“Right.”

“I mean, it wouldn’t be nice maybe to close it down permanently, but if we manage to convince them to voluntarily not sell to nice smelling guys with dorky glasses—”

“Alex, please.”

“Right, right. Yeah. It’s a bad idea.” She taps a finger against her chin, smiling as a waitress refills her coffee and then moves to the next table, chatting with the elderly couple who are digging into their pancakes. They remind Lena of her grandparents. “If James is getting Clark involved, we’ll have our work cut out for us. Kara will care less about the food and more about spending extra time with her cousin.” Alex pauses, her nose wrinkling. “I hate that I’m jealous of him.”

“You’re closer to Kara than Clark is, of course,” Lena tries, not liking the way Alex’s shoulders seem to droop, all of her previous energy and cheer dissipating. “He wouldn’t have gotten any of the questions right in our game.”

“No, but she doesn’t have to worry about being human with him. She can just…be herself.” Alex shrugs a little, forcing a smile onto her face. “Doesn’t matter what you, me, and even James come up with. None of us can have the sort of connection Clark has with Kara.”

“So?” Lena asks, taking a sip of her coffee and studiously ignoring the elderly couple who are now joking with one another. “We may not be able to fly with her or punch as hard as she does, but that doesn’t make the connection we have any less important. It’s just…different. Different doesn’t mean bad, Alex.”

“So how do we use that ‘different connection’ to beat James and his trump card?”

Lena blinks, her eyes once again landing on the elderly couple. An idea begins to form in her mind.

“Well,” she says, smiling and sitting up a little straighter, “what would you say to an afternoon of baking?”

x

“I don’t know how much I like you two,” James says, draining the last of his beer and signaling Mon-El to bring another one. “Quality time with _baking_? That’s a cheap shot.”

“You used _Clark_ , James,” Alex huffs, leaning into Maggie’s side. “That’s hardly fair.”

“Yeah, but Clark didn’t even stay long. What’s the point of superspeed if you’re off in ten minutes? As far as best friends go, I think I need to rethink my choices.”

“Excuse me,” Winn says, stumbling over. He’s well into his fifth (or sixth?) drink of the night, Mon-El grinning from behind him, pointing to a bottle of liquor in his hand. “I thought _I_ was your best friend. Or do I risk my life for no reason every night?”

“I’m just saying,” James continues, ignoring Winn and turning to Lena and Alex, “I give up. Clearly you two know her better, I’m throwing in the towel.” Lena wants to gloat, she really does, but before she or Alex get the chance, Kara appears by her side, looking frustrated and more than a little windswept.

“Can you believe it took J’onn and I all afternoon to round up the last of that alien tech?” she asks, collapsing into the seat next to Lena, hurriedly placing a kiss to her cheek and then waving Mon-El over for a drink. “Vasquez was about to start _crying_. She’s been working on this for days, apparently.” Alex looks smug, probably because she managed to get out of the mission, spending most of the incident at the NCPD headquarters attempting to figure out who’d supplied the tech in the first place. Kara notices the look too because she rolls her eyes and reaches over the table to shove her sister’s shoulder. “Not fair, Alex,” she says.

“Not fair is right,” James mumbles, eyes flickering between Alex and Lena. “Totally not fair.”

Maggie bursts out laughing, followed quickly by Alex, Lena, and even James and a very drunk Winn, and no matter how many times Kara asks, none of them are in any state to explain what just transpired.

x

“Are you ready to lose, Luthor?” Alex asks her one day, after they’ve run into each other by accident. Lena huffs and rolls her eyes.

“I got her hot dogs from her favorite food truck this afternoon. Bring it on, Danvers.”

x

Alex tracks down a croissant that only a single bakery in all of National City makes—chock full of chocolate and fudge and some sort of strange raspberry drizzle—and she waves it in Lena’s face with a grin, sure that she’s won.

When Kara catches sight of her sister, she immediately launches into a story about how Lena _flew in_ pastries from Paris, dragging her to where the large selection of tarts and sweets are arranged on the table, and Alex groans, mouthing ‘ _I hate you’_ when Kara’s back is turned.

x

“Your mother’s chocolate pecan pie, Danvers? Really? You’d use childhood memories against me?”

“I haven’t forgotten the pizza from the place you had your first date. Or the potstickers you got for the gala. Admit it, Luthor, you’ve met your match.”

x

It’s Maggie who points out the problem:

“Wait. So if neither of you are willing to give up, how do you know if you’ve won?”

It’s Winn who makes Lena and Alex blush:

“How much do you want to bet they forgot what they were competing for in the first place?”

x

Lena’s already in bed, dozing a little, when she hears Kara’s boots land on their floor, her heavy footsteps getting louder as she approaches the bedroom. She smells faintly of rain and sunlight when she bends over to press a kiss to Lena’s forehead before quickly changing into more comfortable clothes, her suit being tossed carelessly into the closet. (It’d annoyed Lena when she first started staying over, frustrated by the lack of cleanliness. But now it’s a little endearing that Kara’s so keen to get into bed that she doesn’t bother to take the time to neatly put the suit away.)

“There’s food in the fridge. It’s from that Italian place Maggie told us about, the one you wanted to try,” Lena mumbles sleepily, smiling when she feels Kara slide into bed, strong arms wrapping around her middle. “Not hungry?”

“Not really. Alex found the world’s biggest steak. It was…fun to watch the look on J’onn’s face when I ate it.”

“Does that mean she’s won?” Lena asks, turning over to that she’s facing her girlfriend, taking in the slight crease between Kara’s brows. “Would it be wrong to just ask you to choose your girlfriend over your sister?”

“Lena…” Kara begins, that furrow deepening, “I—what’re you talking about?”

Lena sits up, suddenly wide awake.

“The competition,” she says, staring at Kara, “the ‘who knows Kara Danvers the best’ game? You were supposed to break the tie, but you said we had to figure out your favorite food and—”

“Wait, wait. _That’s_ what all the food is about? I was supposed to choose which one of you knows me better?”

“Well, James put up a valiant fight, but he realized Alex and I were such difficult opponents—”

“ _Lena_ ,” Kara says, interrupting Lena with a laugh before leaning forward and kissing her. It’s soft and gentle—much like everything about Kara—and when she pulls away, her eyes have taken on a watery sheen, as if she’s actively attempting not to cry. “You and Alex are _dorks_.”

“I kno—hold on, sorry?”

“Lena,” Kara repeated, shaking her head and suppressing a smile, “I wasn’t serious. No one knows my favorite food because none of you have ever had it.”

“It’s Kryptonian,” Lena guesses, falling back onto the bed, arms splayed out. It’s very undignified, and if Lillian had witnessed it, she’d likely throw a fit. But Lena looks at Kara and she remembers the way her grandmother had snorted when she laughed and she decides dignity is likely overrated anyway. “None of us _could_ know what your favorite food is, just what you like on Earth.”

“I’m sorry I wasted your time,” Kara says, grinning a little. She props her head up with one arm, staring down at Lena with a fond smile.

“What did you think we were doing?” Lena asks, biting her lip.

“I didn’t think too much about it,” Kara admits, brushing back some of Lena’s hair. “I didn’t want to jinx it and have it stop. The _world’s biggest steak_ , Lena. Can you imagine?”

“If you had to choose though,” Lena begins, unable to push away the urge to beat Alex at this, “which one of us would win? Honestly?”

Kara doesn’t answer her, she just leans forward and kisses Lena until she’s breathless, until all thoughts of competition and food is driven far from her mind.

(Later, Lena will tell Alex and the others about how touched Kara had been by the effort they’d put into proving their ‘connection’ so though they tone it down, the attempts to win Kara over—win her affection through food—don’t cease.

And later, when Winn brags about how Kara couldn’t stop laughing at the jumbo bag of cotton candy he’d brought her, Lena will knock her elbow with Alex’s, mouthing ‘ _different_ _connection’_ when Kara’s back is turned.)


	4. lucky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact: the news about supergirl is very sad. the posts I've been seeing in response to the news are sadder. the fact that this makes me want to write fanfic even less now is the saddest (for me anyway).

She’s _angry_.

She is, despite J’onn’s knowing looks, his urges for her to be honest. She’s only angry, even if Alex pulls her into a hug that lasts just a tad too long for it to be anything but a wordless offer of comfort. Even if she feels a pressure behind her eyes and a heavy weight on her chest, making it difficult to breathe. Kara is undoubtedly, unquestionably, undeniably _angry_. Nothing less, nothing more. Kara is angry and the anger is making her reckless.

(She recklessly turns to Lena.)

“It’s _infuriating_ ,” she tells Lena, pacing the woman’s office, wringing her hands in a futile attempt to _show_ her frustration (as if Lena can’t tell just by tenor and cadence of her voice). “And everyone keeps saying that I’m not actually angry, that I’m not being honest with myself, but what else should I be feeling?”

“Kara, I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what happened.” (She’s so patient, so calm. Kara doesn’t understand how someone like her exists.)

“A…well, a _former_ friend of mine has been lying to me, decided to keep something from me that I should’ve known. That I should’ve been trusted with.”

“That’s not vague at all,” Lena laughs. Kara immediately ceases her pacing, turning to Lena with an apologetic expression, needing her to understand.

“It’s just not—”

“—your secret to tell? I understand, Kara. I actually have a thing for mysteries, and you’re plenty mysterious.” Lena is smiling benignly, but Kara feels as if her world has been knocked off balance because that—well, she’s not quite sure what to make of _that_.

“I’m sorry for barging in on you like this,” Kara begins, straightening her glasses. “I guess I just needed a friend to talk to.”

“I’m flattered you thought of me.” There it is again, that _thing_. It’s not just Lena’s words (which…Kara’s not really ready to think about that) but it’s the fluttering somewhere in her belly, the temporary rush of levity.

“If anyone has experience with not being trusted, it’s you,” Kara says, looking down. When her words register she immediately holds up her hands, giving Lena a panicked expression. “Not that you deserve it! Or that you’re not trustworthy. Or—”

“It’s all right, Kara. I understand what you meant. And you’re right.” Her smile is unaffected, unchanged, but Kara can see something shift in her eyes; the playfulness from before is gone, something sad taking its place. “Is there a reason you feel…” she pauses, tilting her head to one side, as if considering something, “…angry? Is there a reason you feel as if you’re owed their trust?”

“I’ve trusted them with everything. Why couldn’t they trust me?” The moment the words come out of her mouth, she knows. She knows that she’s been wrong, she knows that Alex and J’onn know her better than she knows herself, she knows that Lena had caught on from the moment Kara had entered the office. She braces herself for the lecture, for the soft explanation, for Lena’s patience and calm to shine through as she points out the truth. But Lena takes her by surprise.

“You have every right to be _angry_ ,” she says, stressing the final word just enough to let Kara know that anger is not what she’s talking about. “It’s natural.”

“So what do I do?”

“You either forgive them or you don’t. They made the choice to lie, you can only decide how you proceed from here.”

“Would you?” Kara asks, a little bit of desperation tinting her voice (something she does not intend _at all_ ). Inexplicably, Lena smiles.

“Well, that depends entirely on the friend.”

x

She decides that she’s not sure if she’s willing to forgive James and Winn yet. (A part of her knows that forgiveness is inevitable. Winn is her best friend and has weathered _so much_ with her. And James is…well, he’s James. They’re her family, forgiveness was never really in question. Yet, she also wants to make them sweat it out.)

(She’s been called nice her entire life, but that didn’t mean she actually _is_ nice. At least, not _all_ the time.)

Of course, what she hadn’t taken into account is that James and Winn are her only friends (at least, the only friends she can share everything in her life with). Thus, though she finds herself spending more and more time with Lena, it’s not really the same. (She doesn’t like thinking about how it’s not the same because of that fluttery lightness she gets, that swoop in her chest that she’s not entirely familiar with.)

(She doesn’t like thinking about it, but that doesn’t make it any less true.)

What really gets her (and by that, she means what leaves her just dumbfounded) is that Lena doesn’t even seem aware of what she’s doing. When Alex cancels sister night in order to spend ‘totally platonic, only friendly’ time with Maggie, Kara calls Lena and asks her if she wants to come over for a movie. She’s not entirely sure why she’s surprised when Lena actually shows up, why she feels warm whenever Lena reaches out to grab her wrist, pointing out inaccuracies in the movie they’re watching (“See, now that doesn’t even make sense. Honestly, you’d think they’d at least _try_ to make it believable”), why her head feels fuzzy for a moment when she gets a powerful whiff of Lena’s perfume. And while Kara is left feeling as if she’s missing something important, Lena seems entirely oblivious, chattering away as if Kara’s not two seconds away from saying something inappropriate for a friend. (Something like _thank you_. Something like _you’re pretty_. Something like _would it be weird if I kissed you?_ )

When Lena shifts on the couch, leaving her impossibly close, practically pressed up against Kara, Kara nearly lets out a squeak, saved only by her attention being diverted by the sound of a loud crash. She knows Lena can’t hear it because the other woman’s eyes are still fixed on the television, a small smile tugging at her lips, almost as if she’s unaware she’s doing it. A part of Kara just wants to ignore the crash, hope that a car backfired or something, but when it comes again—louder and accompanied by the sound of shouting—Kara shuffles away from Lena with an awkward laugh.

“I’m gonna call Alex. Make sure she’s okay. She’s on a date,” she adds unnecessarily when Lena turns to her with a frown. “Not that she’d admit it. But it is. A date, I mean.”

“All right,” Lena says, looking more confused than anything. With one last nod and too-wide smile, Kara rushes to her bedroom, escaping her apartment from the window. She stops the robbery taking place as quickly as possible, leaves the would-be robbers somewhere she’s sure NCPD will get to them, and makes it back to her apartment in record time, barely breaking a sweat.

When she walks back to the couch, however, Lena has an odd look on her face.

“Do you have a landline?” she asks suddenly, sounding vaguely uncomfortable.

“Um, yes.” She doesn’t think she’s ever used it, but it _exists_. Strangely enough, relief floods Lena’s features before she’s able to recompose herself, her usual polite smile back in place. “Uh. Why?”

“It’s just…well, you left your phone.” Lena points to Kara’s cell phone, sitting obviously on the coffee table where she’d forgotten it. “Glad to know you’re not just trying to avoid me.” She tries to play it off as a joke, but the very real fear is present in her voice and Kara instantly feels terrible.

“Avoid?” Kara scoffs, waving a hand. “You? Never.”

x

Admittedly, she becomes a little…well, _lax_ is the only word that makes any sense. It starts off with carelessness, much like leaving her phone when she’s supposed to be calling her sister, before escalating to making up excuses for why they can’t spend time together that anyone could’ve spotted as a lie.

(“Sorry, Lena,” she says one night, rushing out of the DEO at the news of an alien attack in downtown Nation City. “I’ve got to take care of my cat.”

“You’ve got a cat?”

“Well, not _my_ cat. It’s Alex’s. She’s out of town.”

“I saw your sister earlier this morning with that detective,” Lena says, sounding slightly accusatory.)

She’s not quite sure what’s happened. (That’s a lie.) All she knows is that—as irrational as it sounds (it’s not irrational at all)—she _wants_ Lena to call her out, wants Lena to sit her down and ask her about how she can get around National City so quickly, about how she manages to get _Supergirl_ as a source for nearly all her stories, about how she warms that cold pizza without using the microwave.

(As irrational as it is—it’s not irrational at all—she wants Lena to connect the dots because she’s just not willing to lie to her anymore.)

So perhaps _lax_ isn’t the right word. Perhaps _insane_ or _crazy_ or _hell-bent on ruining everything_ is more appropriate. But all she can think about is how _angry_ she had been when she found out James and Winn had been lying to her about the Guardian. (And if now she can admit to herself that she was never angry, that she was _hurt_ , it’s irrelevant. Angering Lena is just as unthinkable as hurting her.)

Kara lets out a loud sigh as she races through the sky, hoping to let off a little steam, not only from Snapper’s latest efforts to drive her nuts, but from the fact that she _still_ hasn’t talked to James or Winn, from the fact that there are aliens all across National City who’ve been needlessly preoccupied with making her life difficult, from the fact that she’s 85% sure that Lena hates her for her latest excuse.

(“I’m pretty sure I twisted my ankle.”

“And that means you can’t meet for coffee? You realize you’d be sitting down, right?”

“Um, well. The thing is, I have _really_ weak ankles.”)

(Ugh, make that 99% sure that Lena hates her.)

She finds a nice, empty, and mostly scentless alleyway to speed change into her regular clothes before deciding to walk the rest of the way to L-Corp and maybe offer Lena some sort of apology or excuse that the CEO would believe. She’s rehearsing possible scenarios in her mind as she walks when she hears it: a loud crash. Muttering under her breath, she’s just about to change back into her suit when she realizes the crash is from an enormous alien (green, slightly slimy, green saliva dripping from his mouth to the ground, where it sizzles) throwing himself into the wall of L-Corp.

And standing behind the alien, looking ready to kill if comically so, is _Lena._

“Not my building!” she shouts, armed with only an umbrella, rushing forward despite being hopelessly outmatched. The alien turns, clearly preferring his new target (a young woman who smells quite nice) to the wall. And Kara—well, Kara doesn’t think, she acts.

She rushes forward, placing herself between the alien and Lena, holding him back, glad that between the concrete walls of L-Corp and the alien’s enormous body, she’s hidden from view from everyone. (Well, everyone except for Lena.)

(But then, she’d wanted Lena to know, hadn’t she?)

“Kara?” Lena says, but Kara doesn’t have the time to acknowledge the tacit question. With a great heave, she drags the alien into the air, flying him away from the center of National City to somewhere she can subdue him without being seen.

And later, when Lena calls her, she gives her worst excuse yet via text:

_Sorry, can’t talk. Just met the twin sister I never knew I had._

x

“Twin sister, huh?” Alex says, trying to quell her smile and failing, scrolling through Kara’s texts. “She must really like you if she’s dealt with all this for so long.”

“What do I do?”

“It’s your secret, Kara. You’re the one who needs to figure out what you want to do.”

“You think she’ll be mad?”

“I guess you’ll find out,” Alex says unhelpfully, her laugh finally escaping her as she finds the text Lena sent Kara asking about Alex’s fictional cat.

x

She tells herself that it’s not creepy that she knows where Lena lives even though she’s never been there. After all, Lena had done the same thing to her. (But when Kara knocks on the door, she can’t help but feel terribly creepy, and when Lena lets her in, Kara is anything but smooth and charming. Mostly, she’s awkward and bumbling, knocking into a vase almost immediately.)

“So where’s your twin?” Lena asks in a deadpan, eyebrows raised and arms crossed over her chest. She doesn’t look very impressed, and Kara doesn’t exactly blame her.

“Tragically, she turned out to be a time traveler, and since you can’t travel to a time you exist she, um, disintegrated.” Lena doesn’t respond, she just fixes Kara with a look, a look that simultaneously says she’s pissed and she’s amused despite herself. And that swoop makes a roaring comeback, and Kara begins to feel pleasantly warm. “Lena, I’m sorry. I just—”

“—so the time you left in the middle of dinner, it wasn’t to go to bingo night with your grandmother?”

“Yeah, I don’t have a grandmother. There was a fire-breathing alien burning people’s homes down.”

“And the time you said you had to go with your sister to the hairdresser…?”

“Right, Alex isn’t actually afraid of scissors. There was just an issue with alien technology falling into the wrong hands.” It feels good—no, _amazing—_ to get all this off her chest, to admit the truth and watch as Lena’s expression slowly clears, the frown becoming less and less pronounced. It’s as if she’s had a literal weight lifted from her shoulders, and she suddenly finds that she’d answer any question Lena might have. (And when she thinks about why that is, it doesn’t scare her at all.)

(Much like forgiving James and Winn, she thinks this was inevitable.)

“So you weren’t making stupid excuses to avoid me?”

“Avoid you? Never.”

Lena’s arms, which had been crossed tightly across her chest, fall to her sides as she takes several steps forward, leaving virtually no space between them. And when she leans in, Kara doesn’t think twice before meeting her halfway.

(If telling the truth was like a weight lifted, the kiss is like flying.)

“So I take it I’m the sort of friend you can forgive?” Kara asks with the slightest grin when Lena pulls away, her eyes still closed.

“You’re lucky I like mysteries,” is all Lena says before kissing her again.

And Kara decides they can probably have the conversation about not keeping any more secrets later.


	5. good

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact: I actually forgot I had written this but then someone mentioned the good place in an ask on tumblr which made me go back and watch a few episodes which reminded me about this fic. anons are lovely

When she opened her eyes, it was to bright green letters proclaiming ‘everything is fine.’ Lena, however, was no slouch—she’d always been blessed with the ability to sniff out a ruse and to maintain a healthy dose of skepticism about things that sounded too good to be true. 

And ‘everything is fine’ was most certainly too good to be true. 

Before she could sneak out of the office and get away from wherever the hell she’d been brought (the last thing she remembered was sitting in her office), the door to her left swung open and a man with an easy smile, a bright blue bow tie, and a head of completely white hair stepped out. He bowed dramatically, going as far as tipping an invisible hat. 

“Lena Luthor, it’s such an honor to meet you, I’m a big fan,” he said excitedly. “You’re like royalty! Almost as good as meeting Doug!”

Lena could do nothing but blink.

“Oh! Where are my manners?” He took a step back and motioned towards the office. “Let’s have a chat, okay Lena?” 

The alarm bells in Lena’s head were going off violently, but she stood and followed him into the office, eyeing the big portrait of a man called Doug Forcett with a grimace. Martin must have followed her eyes because he let out a chuckle. 

“Good old Doug,” he said, sitting down at his desk and motioning for Lena to do the same. “He’s the only human in all of history to accurately predict the point system to get into the good place.”

“The good place?” Lena repeated, eyes beginning to widen as comprehension dawned on her. 

“Oh shoot, I wanted to ease you into it. But yes, Lena. You’re, well, dead. But you’ve made it! You’re in the good place!” 

“How—how did I die?” 

Martin looked uncomfortable. “We tend to purge memories of more…gruesome…deaths. You sure you want to know?” When Lena nodded, Martin sighed. “You fell off the balcony of your office. As I understand it, you were distracted by a call from your mother.”

Lena swallowed a laugh. Fell to her death because of Lillian? That sounded right. The rest of it, though, not so much. 

“How did I make it…here? I think there’s been a mistake.” 

Martin eyed her oddly for a moment, clearly unsure if she was being serious. When she just stared steadily back, Martin leaned forward, elbows propped up on his desk and fingertips pressing lightly together in front of his face. 

“You were an exceptionally good person on Earth, Lena Luthor. You donated millions to charity, ran a children’s hospital, started an alien shelter, invented and invested in dozens of new technologies designed to help people, worked towards clean air and water worldwide, switched entirely to renewable energy and pushed for it in other countries to combat climate change, and volunteered hours upon hours of your time to food banks. And you did it all not to be seen, but to just do some good.” He grinned as he stood, sticking his hand out. Lena took it slowly and let him shake her hand. “You belong here, Lena. All good people do.” 

He seemed to expect a response, so she mumbled her thanks and agreed to be shown around and introduced to her so-called ‘soulmate’ all the while thinking there must have been some sort of mistake. 

After all, Lena didn’t do the things she did just to be good. She did them because she’d been desperate to erase Lex and the damage he caused. 

She did them because she was a Luthor, and if there was one thing a Luthor wasn’t, it was good. 

X

The house she was to live in with her soulmate was astonishingly similar to a vague memory she had of her mother and the cottage they lived in near the beach. It was bright and homey and, when she stepped inside, smelled of flowers and something sweet like cookies or pie. Martin had left her alone, citing another newcomer that needed to be greeted, but had told her to make herself at home and that her soulmate could answer any questions she had. 

Lena smirked internally as she wondered if her ‘soulmate’ could explain the mistake that brought her here. 

Curious, and a tad hungry from the sweet smell wafting towards her like a siren call, Lena inched towards the kitchen, making note of the beautiful paintings on the walls as she walked. Either Martin had a great eye for interior design or heaven catered the home exactly to her tastes. 

Even the thought made her chuckle. 

“Martin? Is that you?” someone called from the kitchen, shocking Lena, who thought she was alone. Before she could grab the nearest heavy and sharp object (a fountain pen on the table to her right), a woman stuck her head out from the kitchen, smiling brightly when she caught sight of Lena. “Oh gosh,” she said, cheeks flushed red as she emerged completely and approached Lena. “Martin said you’d be here today but he didn’t warn me when and I wanted to make a good first impression but gosh, look I’m covered in flour and I’ve still got my apron and um, hi. I’m Kara.” She wiped a hand covered with flour on her apron, which only served to make it worse. “Sorry. I ramble when I’m nervous.”

(With a pang, Lena realized that because she didn’t belong here, this woman—this beautiful, adorable, and incredibly dorky woman—could not possibly be her soulmate. It was disappointing. 

It was disappointing because Lena could she herself loving this woman, all off of a single, cute ramble.) 

“Lena,” Lena managed through the sudden tightness in her throat, eyeing the flour on Kara’s cheek and hair, the way Kara’s blue eyes brightened as she smiled wider. “I found out I died today,” she continued, idly wondering if it would be okay to continue pretending she was who Martin thought she was if it meant an eternity with Kara. 

Kara nodded sympathetically. “It’s a shock, isn’t it?” she said with a shrug. “I’ve been here….” She trailed off and frowned. “Oh I actually don’t know. It might’ve just happened or it might’ve been a while.” She frowned, looking distracted and disturbed by the concept. “I wonder if Brainy knows,” she mumbled and before Lena could even ask what/who Brainy was, a man literally dinged into the hallway, hair swept back and hands clasped in front of him. 

“Hello, I am Brainy, an anthropomorphized informational delivery vessel. How can I help you?” 

And Lena, perhaps because she’d had one too many surprises already, promptly passed out. 

XxX

“So Lena Luthor is your soulmate,” Alex said, arms crossed as she stared at the woman laying on the couch. “That’s…ironic.” 

“I prefer to think of it as romantic,” Kara said, bumping her shoulder against Alex’s. “Like a star crossed lovers thing with a happyish ending.”

“Do you think she knows who you are? Or were, I suppose,” Alex asked, ignoring Kara’s comment entirely. It was to be expected—even in death, even in the good place where nothing could possibly hurt her, Alex was still the protective older sister. 

(Kara didn’t like thinking about it. How she and Alex died. Because it was stupid, it was unfair, it was wrong. Sacrificing herself to save Earth was one thing, having Alex sacrifice herself for Kara was another thing entirely.

But at least they were together. Sisters, forever.)

“I don’t think so. She seemed okay until Brainy showed up.” Kara wrung her hands together, turning to her sister with a grimace. “I feel so bad, Alex. I just wanted to know how long it’s been since we died and I think I scared her to death.” Kara paused. “Second death?” 

“She’s not dead,” Alex assured her, though she frowned as she said it, like she wasn’t positive. “But it’s weird that she barely breathes. Maybe we need less oxygen in the good place.” Alex’s eyes lit up. “Maybe we don’t need oxygen  _ at all _ .” 

“Alex, focus. Should we just dump water on her?”

Alex laughed, then gave Kara a thoughtful look. “You know, your powers would’ve come in handy right about now. Shame you don’t have them here, I’d love to have seen you freeze breath her awake.” 

“If you’re not going to be helpful,” Kara began, a little bit annoyed, but before she could properly threaten her sister, Lena sat up, heaving in several deep breaths, causing Alex to frown and even go as far as look for a piece of paper and pen to make a note of the reaction. 

“Oh I had the worst dream,” Lena huffed as she slowly began taking in her surroundings, not yet noticing Kara or Alex. “I dreamed I’d died and they’d made a mistake and sent me to the good place, heaven, or whatever instead of hell and that a creepy man appeared out of nowhere and there was this beautiful woman—”

“Beautiful, huh?” Kara said, feeling proud and a little cocky, just as Alex dropped her pen and paper and looked at Lena with shock.

“What do you mean there’s been a mistake?” she demanded, her protectiveness shining through. 

But if either of them were expecting a response, they were sorely mistaken. Lena took one good look at the two of them, paled, and passed out once more. 

X

Kara smiled at Martin, but Alex continued to glare, taking great care in ensuring that Martin was aware of her ire. 

“I can assure you, without a doubt, that Lena Luthor belongs in the good place,” he said for the umpteenth time, only traces of weariness on his expression. Kara silently commended him for his patience. He leaned forward, elbows on his desk, fingers pressing down on the wood as if he wanted to subliminally impress the idea into their minds as well. “I’m well aware of her self-doubts and though it is perhaps understandable that she feels she does not belong here, she does. Just as much as either of you.”

“Well, there you have it, Alex,” Kara grinned, making to stand, but Alex held up a hand and Kara groaned, slouching in her seat. 

“You know who Kara is, don’t you?” she asked, eyes narrow.

“I am aware of who she was on Earth, yes,” Martin nodded. He turned to Kara. “I’m a big fan of your work, by the way. Have I mentioned that before?” 

“Once or twice,” Kara laughed goodnaturedly, but Alex wasn’t having it. 

“Lena Luthor is the sister of the notorious hater of all Supers, Martin. Kara is a Super. Do you understand why I’m doubtful?” 

Martin nodded, attempting to placate Alex, but not really succeeding. He must have noticed his own failure, because he abruptly changed tactics. 

“Listen. I understand your concern,” he said, leaning back in his chair and looking at Kara. “I understand this must be difficult for you, Kara. What with your soulmate being your cousin’s arch nemesis’ little sister. But let me assure you that there’s been no mistake. However—” he continued, interrupting Alex’s interruption, “to ease your minds, I will look into the issue. Just promise me that you two will get to know Lena, that you’ll give her a chance. At the end of the day, the real tragedy is that she doesn’t know just how much she belongs here.” 

With no hesitation, Kara nodded. “You got it, Marty. I’ll make sure she knows she belongs here.”

“Kara, that wasn’t exactly what he said—”

“—sorry, Alex, no time. Lena needs to see how good she is, I’ll talk to you later!” 

And without waiting for a response, she sped off, in search of Lena Luthor. 

XxX

On most days, Lena was able to forget the moral quandary that was her presence in the good place when she knew she did not belong, and that was almost entirely thanks to Kara Danvers. 

Not the food that appeared out of nowhere, not the access to any bit of information ever known, not the fact that she was literally in a place where everything was suited to her tastes—from temperature, to clothes, to the lack of her mother anywhere. No. The thing that Lena fell in love with in the good place was Kara. 

Kara was at once the strangest thing Lena had ever encountered and the most wonderful thing she had ever known. It was as if Lena’s entire existence only made sense when Kara was with her:

When she and Kara chatted late into the night.

When she and Kara cooked and read and talked engineering and debated and shared secrets with one another.

When she and Kara met eyes and Kara’s face split immediately into a bright smile, her eyes becoming impossibly bluer, her shoulders (always so tight, always straining against some invisible weight, even in the good place) relaxing almost despite herself. 

She didn’t belong in the good place, Lena knew that, but it was hard to remember when Kara gently took her hand, or when Alex became warm and treated Lena the same as Kara (like a sister, like someone  _ deserving _ of love and goodness), or when Martin assured her for the millionth time that there hadn’t been a mistake and this was where she belonged. 

(Lena wasn’t good, but dammit if she didn’t want to pretend if it meant she could stay by Kara’s side for just a moment more.) 

On most days, Lena was able to forget she didn’t belong, but the day Kara told her she was Supergirl back when she was alive was not one of those days.

“I thought you were a reporter,” Lena stammered, shaking her head. (She  _ knew _ . She knew she wasn’t supposed to be here. Luthors were only destined to destroy, not create, not belong.) 

“Kara Danvers was a reporter, yeah. I was Supergirl in my free time. It was my secret nightlife,” Kara joked, wiggling her eyebrows. Lena didn’t laugh, didn’t even move, and Kara let out a sigh, suddenly serious. “Why does this even matter? Who cares what I was on Earth, I’m dead now, aren’t I?” 

“It matters because of what my family has done!” Lena all but shouted, her heart hammering away. “What Lex did to your cousin, to  _ you _ , it’s unforgivable. How can you look me in the eye and say what my family did doesn’t matter?”

“Because it  _ doesn’t _ . I care about  _ you _ , Lena. Not Lex or the Luthor name. You’re a good person, and I—”

“No. No, I’m a Luthor and I knew it was too good to be true to end up here. There must’ve been a mistake. This is a joke, a cosmic joke. No one can seriously believe I’m  _ soulmates _ with someone my family obsessively hated.” 

Her words came out with more harshness than she intended, and the flash of hurt on Kara’s face was almost enough to have Lena taking back all her words. But instead, she steeled herself and watched as Kara nodded once, twice, then a third time (tears appearing in her eyes as Lena refused to budge), and stalked off. 

She was about to settle in on the couch and have herself a good cry when Alex poked her head into the living room.

“I just saw Kara leave. She looked upset. Is everything, uh, okay?” 

“You overheard?” Lena asked dispassionately. 

“Um, yeah. Every word. Still, though. You okay?” 

“Why do you care? I’m a Luthor—I’m not even supposed to be here.” 

Rather than agree and walk off, like Lena expected, Alex sighed and stepped further into the room, going as far as to place a steadying hand on Lena’s shoulder. 

“Yeah, I know you’re a Luthor,” Alex said, squeezing Lena’s shoulder slightly. “You’re the stupidly selfless Luthor who’s willing to push away someone you love just because you’re afraid you’ll hurt her.” Alex smiled at her, pulling her hand away and shrugging lightly. “But the self-sacrifice thing? Doesn’t work if the person you love loves you back.” She shrugged again. “You’re a good person, Lena Luthor. The only one who hasn’t noticed that yet is you.” 

XxX

“Are there other Kryptonians here?” Lena asked absently, thumbing through the bookshelf. Kara grimaced, not particularly fond of the topic of conversation. 

“No. No,” she said, letting out a sigh, “it’s, um, it’s just me.” 

Lena turned away from the books in shock, head cocked to one side as she studied Kara carefully, as if searching for a lie. “Sorry to be blunt, but then why are you here?” 

“Well,” Kara began slowly, “the way I understand it is that, by the time I died, I’d chosen Earth and by extension, humanity. So I get the human version of the good place. It’s why I don’t have my powers. I’m human here.” 

“But what about your family? Your friends? Everyone from Krypton?” 

“They’re in Rao’s light,” Kara explained, waving her hands and feeling stupid. “I can’t reach them just yet—but I will. Eventually.”

“But don’t you want to see them? Be with them?”

Kara nodded, keeping her chin tucked into her chest and feeling impossibly conflicted.

“I do. But I have Alex, and now I have you. Even in death, that’s what I’ll choose.” 

x

She and Martin sat on a park bench, staring at the lake. His legs were stretched out and crossed at the ankle, his arms crossed over his chest, a deep frowning marring his features. His bow was pink with white polka dots, and it made Kara smile. 

“It’s against all the rules,” he told her, though Kara noticed he still hadn’t refused. “And who’s to say it would all work out for you again? Perhaps this one decision costs you thousands of points, what then?”

“It would be worth it, Marty. And you know it.” Kara shifted on the bench so that she was facing Martin completely, and though he stubbornly kept his eyes on the lake, Kara knew he was listening to her intently. “She’ll never believe she belongs here, it’s too ingrained into her, she keeps thinking it’s too good to be true.”

“But sending you all back is a difficult process, it could change the timeline as we know it, we’d have to get the okay from the judge —”

“—but it’s  _ possible _ . That’s all I need, Martin.  _ Possible _ .” 

“What makes you think we’d even make this exception? What makes you think the judge would allow it?” 

Kara grinned, the answer coming to her without hesitation. “Because Lena’s extraordinary. And she can’t really be in the good place until she realizes she belongs here.” 

“You won’t remember any of this, Kara,” Martin warned, shaking his head as he finally met her eyes. “It will be as if none of this ever happened. As if you never fell in love with her in the first place.” 

“That doesn’t matter,” Kara said confidently. “Just get me in a room with her one time. I’ll take the rest from there.” 

XxXxX

_ “There’s a perfectly reasonable explanation for why I wasn’t aboard the Venture yesterday.” _

…

“And who are you exactly?” Lena Luthor asks, and Kara can hear the smile in her tone. 

She doesn’t know how to explain it, not even to Clark later, but one thing she is sure of—with no doubt in her mind—is that Lena is a good person.

And in between saving a man from a car and a few dogs from an apartment fire, Kara finds herself swearing that she’ll make Lena see that too. 


	6. color

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact: I feel so bad for the person who sent me this prompt only to get this. I was trying to be ARTISTIC loll

It was like this:

The pieces of her chessboard, the alternating square tiles.

It was light and dark, right and wrong, up and down....

Life and death. 

(It was like this: the prominent ‘S’ and the mangled ‘L,’ the difference between the truth and a lie, the distance between a friend and an enemy. 

It was hours upon hours staring up at the night sky and wondering how something so dark and vast could inspire so many to reach for the stars. 

It was…it was...it was—)

She’d been raised differently. It didn’t require fancy schooling or constant pressure to perform for her to realize that. No, it merely took an afternoon with Lillian, long before she’d even lost her first baby tooth.

( _Sit down, keep silent, work harder_.

And her response, always the same, and always residing only in her thoughts: _Stop, stop, stop please._ )

She was raised with the constant promise of her last name. A Luthor was never wrong. A Luthor was never swayed. A Luthor, a Luthor, a Luthor—oh, a Luthor stole from hundreds and another lied to thousands and yet another killed dozens.

(She was expected to carry on the work, the stealing and lying and killing, because Luthors were right—they were the light, the shining beacon with which they led all mankind.

_Sit down, keep silent, work harder_.

Stop, stop, stop, stop—)

It was like this:

A scarlet cape and a brilliant smile. Blue eyes, blonde hair, and colorful sweaters. Green, purple, pink, yellow…

It was soft words whispered in the dead of night, softer touches in the light of morning.

It was a push, forceful and kind—a contradiction she couldn’t understand, didn’t want to understand.

(It was a whole new set of instructions: _Be good, be kind, be_ you _._

And her response remained nothing but silence, a perverse belief that she didn’t deserve such faith, such trust.)

She’d been raised a Luthor, told that she wasn’t as good as her brother.

White and black, they’d said.

Light and dark.

Right and wrong.

Up and down.

Life and death….

(White and black, they’d said.

And she’d believed them until those blues and reds and greens and pinks entered her life, believed them until…

Until Kara, until _Kara_.)

It was like this:

A Luthor fell in love with a Super. Lena fell in love with Kara. A human fell in love with the last daughter of Krypton.

(And on her darkest of days, when she looked up at the sky and saw nothing but an empty beyond waiting to envelop her whole—devour her, drown her—there was another thought that occurred to her:

A Super fell in love with a Luthor. Kara fell in love with Lena. The last daughter of Krypton fell in love with a human.)

It was like this: she’d been raised as a Luthor, to see everything in white and black—everything in opposites, in divides.

But then Kara entered her life, and her world burst into color.


	7. nanotech

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fun fact: I kinda basically forgot about posting these that was totally my bad

She doesn’t think much of it the first time it happens.

It’s barely a brush and when she turns to look at Lena, the CEO seems perfectly unaware of what just transpired, so Kara chalks it up to an accident and leaves it at that.

The second time it happens she frowns, deciding there was no way the brush (even if it was in the same exact spot) could be deliberate. She considers it a strange coincidence and doesn’t spare it much thought.

The third time it happens, Kara stares at Lena, attempting to discern if the CEO is up to something or if she’s just a very _handsy_ person, something Kara had never imagined she’d consider about _Lena Luthor._

The fourth time…the fourth time Kara lets out a huff and leaves Lena without a word.

(Her first instinct is to go to Alex and ask her what it all means. Alex has been her go-to person from the moment she landed on Earth—if she could ask her sister stupid things like “why does the garbage disposal sound like a murderous K’hund?” then she could ask about this.

She just hopes it goes better than the time she asked Alex why girls wrote such horrible things about dogs on the bathroom stalls.)

She finds Alex engrossed in her phone at the DEO headquarters, and after a short briefing by J’onn, Kara pulls Alex to the side and mutters that they need to talk. Immediately, Alex shoves her phone—and the conversation that made her smile so wide—into her pocket and gives Kara her full attention.

“I’ve been…experiencing something. With Lena.”

“Okay,” Alex says, her eyebrows rising almost without her consent. She bites her lip hard, clearly carefully considering her next words. “What sort of _experience_ have you been having?” 

“She, um…” Kara trails off, unsure how to continue. Alex is blinking slowly, her expression the picture of patience, and Kara swallows, waving her hands a little. “It’s just,” her voice drops to a whisper, her eyes darting around making sure none of the DEO agents are eavesdropping, “she keeps touching my, you know…” She gives Alex a significant look. “She touches my…”

“Your…?” Alex prompts.

“ _Butt_ ,” Kara manages, cheeks flaming, eyes on the ceiling, hands fisting around her cape. To her utter mortification, Alex _laughs_. 

“Sorry, what?”

“I’m _not_ repeating that, Alex. I know you heard me.”

“You’re telling me…Lena Luthor made a _pass_ at you?” She controls her laughter for a second but just when Kara feels brave enough to meet her gaze once more, Alex breaks down. “And it’s happened _more than once_?” Her laughter begins to draw attention from DEO agents and a few concerned glances from J’onn, so Kara grabs her sister by the elbow and pulls her further away from the main hall and into a secluded corner, glaring at Alex the best she can under the circumstances. (She honestly doesn’t think she’s ever been quite this embarrassed.)

“Just tell me what to do,” Kara pleads, tugging on Alex’s hands, attempting to force her sister into seriousness. In Alex’s defense, she does _attempt_ to rein in her chuckles. (Not that she’s successful in any regard.)

“I don’t know, Kara, I guess it depends on if you want her to touch your butt.” Alex can barely keep a straight face as she speaks, so Kara knows she isn’t being serious, but the question makes her release Alex’s hands and take a step back. Oddly enough, despite the number of times Lena’s hands have brushed her…well, _behind_ …Kara hasn’t taken the time to consider if it’s something she wants or doesn’t want. “Kara?” Alex says, staring at her quizzically as her silence stretches on. “I—”

“Why wouldn’t she just say something instead of…you know?” Kara interrupts, crossing her arms over her chest. “Why couldn’t she have just asked me to dinner?”

“You’re Supergirl,” Alex says as if that should explain everything, her head tilted to one side as she considers Kara with narrowed eyes, all her mirth from earlier dissipating. “Wait a second. You’re blushing. And your nose is doing that twitching thing.” Her mouth falls open and her eyes widen. “You don’t have _feelings_ for Lena Luthor, do you?”

“Pfft, feelings? What’re you—I don’t—I have no feelings. None. Not at all.”

“You _do_ , don’t you? Kara—”

“—I know what you’re going to say, but she’s _not_ , Alex.”

“And how would you know, you barely spend any time with her.” At Kara’s wince, Alex’s expression turns sour. “What did you do?”

“I don’t know! One minute I’m thanking her for helping take down her mom, the next I’m promising to stop by more often, and then,” she begins to mumble, “it’s become a weekly sort of thing.”

“So you visit Lena Luthor as Kara and as Supergirl and you’re shocked that the woman has grown to like you enough that she wants to touch—”

“—you don’t have to finish that sentence!”

“Does she know?” Alex asks instead, her hands coming up to rest on her hips, eyes flickering with amusement even as her eyebrow twitches with annoyance or frustration or impatience. “Does she know your secret?”

“No.” She shakes her head vehemently. “No, definitely not.” Flashes of Lena making pointed comments and giving her smug looks comes to mind, but Kara pushes it determinedly away. She and Lena have an unspoken agreement not to mention the ‘Kara Danvers is Supergirl’ secret, so it’s not as if she’s actually _lying_. “Nope. Doesn’t know my secret.”

Alex knows her better than Kara gives her credit for, because she just rolls her eyes and purses her lips skeptically.

x

When she was fifteen, she’d caught Lex smoking one night. He wasn’t making an active attempt to remain unseen—she knew because she’d heard rumors about the things he was always up to and their parents continually remained none the wiser—but he had seemed rather shocked when she stumbled on him in the garden, cigarette falling from his mouth. He composed himself quickly enough, and with a charming smile and a joke, he got her to promise to keep the ‘smoking thing’ between them. (While Lena didn’t think their dad would care one way or the other, Lillian would definitely have thrown a fit to hear that her precious son was a _smoker_.)

(“It’s unbecoming of a Luthor to be dependent on _anything_ ,” she always said, looking disdainfully on Lena as she slipped off her glasses and shoved them into her pocket.)

About two weeks later, right before Lex was set to return for the new semester, their father mentioned some new research LuthorCorp was funding—a way to ‘cash in’ on the tobacco industry—and Lena began excitedly chatting away about things she had read. She got so carried away that she didn’t even notice that she’d accidentally mentioned Lex’s smoking habit three times until she caught sight of his unimpressed expression.

(Later on—long after Lillian was done with her lecture about how Luthors should behave—Lena snuck into her brother’s bedroom to apologize. And Lex, with his charming grin and casual slouch, pulled her into a hug and told her she had nothing to apologize for.

“I shouldn’t have asked you to keep a secret anyway. Besides, I know how you get when you’re excited. I’m not upset with you for being passionate about something, Lena. That’s something you should never lose.”)

(Now she wonders if that was the day Lex began to distance himself from her—to actively keep her uninformed as he’d once done to their parents. Now she wonders if her slip-up about his smoking was what made him decide to stop confiding in her.

Then again, she also supposes it doesn’t matter.)

The fact is, while Lena has changed a great deal since she was fifteen, she’s taken her brother’s advice on passion: in everything she does, in everything she invests time in, she pours absolutely all of herself into it. Though much like Lex’s smoking, this leads her into trouble.

This time with Supergirl.

It’s not like she _means_ to do what she does. She’s just curious and Kara—sorry, _Supergirl_ —keeps moving around, never really staying still long enough for Lena to get a good look. So she _has_ to reach out, she has to inspect the material for herself.

(Kara’s suit is fascinating—the cape clearly contains technology far beyond anything on Earth, considering how durable it is. Then there’s the crest on her chest and the nanotechnology embedded in the blue material of her shirt…and look, Lena’s a _scientist_. She wants to know how it works, she wants to get a closer look at it.

She just doesn’t know how to ask.)

The next time she sees Kara, an apology is on her lips. She’d seen the way Kara’s eyes had widened before she took off without a word the last time Lena’s hand…well. It did what it did. ( _On accident_.) And Lena’s not…she doesn’t…she just thinks it’s time to confess that she’s terribly interested in the suit.

But Kara speaks before Lena manages to and things…break down.

“On Krypton there was none of this,” Kara waves her hands wildly, looking uncomfortable, “ _stuff_. You know? We’re bonded from birth, there was no…guesswork. And I’ve been on this planet for a long time but I still—it still…we’d have to go out on a date first, Lena. I’m just—I can’t do casual.”

“Oh god, you mean because of…Kara—I mean, Supergirl—I haven’t—”

“—we can still be friends, I love being your friend, obviously,” Kara interrupts, now looking mortified as well as uncomfortable and Lena just can’t take it anymore.

“It’s your suit!” she cries out, gesturing to the cape and the skirt and the crest. She’s suddenly glad it’s so late and there’s no one still at the office—this is embarrassing enough without the chance of an audience. “I wanted to learn more about your suit.”

“So the—”

“—it was an accident, I swear.”

“Oh.” Kara shifts from foot to foot, her brows scrunched together as she stares at the ground. “It’s a mix of human and Kryptonian technology,” she says in a soft voice. “I could probably get you a sample, you wouldn’t have to um, you know, deal with me.”

“Kara—”

“—I mean, Alex will kill me as it is, I sort of told her you didn’t know my secret. But I suppose at this point it doesn’t even matter—”

“—Kara, please just—”

“I should really get going, things to write—I mean, _save_ —”

“Kara!” Lena interrupts, officially at wit’s end. Before Kara can take off (like the last time), Lena grasps her by the wrist and tugs gently. “I’m interested in the suit, but it doesn’t mean—what I’m trying to say is…” She gathers all the courage she has, channeling the charm and casual grace Lex always seemed to have, though she’s not quite sure how successful she is because Kara looks like she’s about to laugh. (Then, perhaps it’s not quite a big deal that she can’t be like her older brother. She’s never been big on secrets anyway.) “How about you show me the sample over dinner?”

“You mean like a—?”

“Yes.”

Kara’s feet, which were hovering several inches off the floor, drop back down as she smiles her brilliant smile. “Or,” she begins, shrugging a little, “I could let you look at the suit now and dinner could just be about us?”

Lena can’t help it, she laughs. “Yes,” she says. “That sounds perfect.”


	8. krypton

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact: I got a new job so my best friend one upped me and told me she's engaged (shhh don't tell anyone, it's a secret). who wants to help me one up her it's obviously a competition now

She doesn’t know why she’s surprised when she flies by L-Corp and finds Lena working. Weekends had never seemed to matter to the CEO, so it stands to reason holidays wouldn’t either.

Still. It makes her…she doesn’t think _sad_ is the appropriate word, but it’s something close to that—an intense sorrow mixed in with a generous dose of empathy. After all, if there’s anyone who can understand wanting to be alone during the holidays, it’s Kara.

(Kara Danvers has a family; she has a sister and a mother, and she cried the day Eliza taught her the Danvers family secret eggnog recipe, stayed up all night with Alex wrapping presents, ate candy canes by the dozen. But Kara Zor-El has never celebrated Christmas, has never experienced snow, has never been able to sing carols or eat cookies shaped like Santa or decorate a tree.

It’s a hard line to draw, and sometimes the distinction blurs and she’s not quite sure who she is, but the holidays invariably bring everything back into focus: the holidays, without fail, remind her that who she is on Earth is not her true identity.)

Kara understands Lena—quite possibly more than she’s willing to admit aloud, in fear of confessing a truth she’s not ready for others to hear—and that’s what compels her to come to a halt, hovering outside Lena’s window, wondering what she should do. Supergirl and Lena Luthor have a tenuous relationship at the moment; since Lillian’s arrest and Kara’s subsequent inability to thank Lena for saving so many lives, they’ve been terse and distant with one another. (Gone are the smiles and the hope to work together in the future—now all Lena wants is for Supergirl to leave her alone, and Kara is all too happy to comply.)

Yet it’s still a relationship. (She thinks.)

With a sigh, Kara glides forward and lands on the balcony, tapping softly on the door to signal her arrival, wanting to give Lena the opportunity to deny her entry. But when Lena turns around, she doesn’t shoo Kara off like she expects her to—instead, she smiles one of her professional and stiff smiles and she closes her laptop, stepping over to the door and opening it.

“Supergirl,” she greets, eyebrows rising. “I’m afraid I don’t have any other family members left. And though I’ve decided a criminal lifestyle isn’t for me, I’m sure you need to accuse me of _something_ , so if we could speed this along I’d—”

“I’m sorry,” Kara interrupts, not bothering with putting her hands on her hips, not bothering with crossing her arms over her chest. She just stands there—listlessly and loosely, attempting to look vulnerable despite her invulnerability. “I shouldn’t—I was so desperate to stop Cadmus I didn’t think about your feelings. And for that I’m sorry.” Lena tilts her head to the side, as if not expecting that response, then lets out a small sigh, almost as if she’s exhaled after realizing she’d been holding her breath without knowing. “And thank you,” Kara continues, not waiting for Lena to think of a response. “You saved a lot of lives. Friends of mine. And for that, I’ll always be grateful.”

“Even though you thought I was working with my mother?”

“You’re a good actress, Lena,” Kara says, shaking her head, “but you’re not that good.” When Lena’s eyes narrow, clearly doubting her, Kara lets out a laugh. “Your heart rate. It spiked right before you turned the key.”

“So you’re a walking lie detector too?”

“I don’t need superhearing to know that you’re a good person,” Kara says, one of her hands fisting around her cape. “Like I said, I’m a good judge of character, my mother taught me well.”

“Humans have a tendency to be fallible, Supergirl,” Lena murmurs, moving to lean against her desk. Her shirt sleeves are rolled to her elbows, and it occurs to Kara that this is the most casual she’s ever seen Lena dress—she’s even wearing pants (tight and clearly expensive, but still, _pants_ ).

“Then perhaps it’s a good thing I’m not human.”

“You weren’t born on Earth? I thought you were half-human at least…” Lena sounds genuinely surprised, and Kara’s inner voice—something that sounds suspiciously like Alex—is telling her to _shut up don’t say anymore this is a Luthor_ , but it’s the holidays and Lena’s in her office and Supergirl has been circling the city aimlessly for the last several hours. Kara _understands_ Lena, and so she responds.

“I was born on Krypton. Raised on Krypton, really.”

“You…do you remember—?”

“My planet? Yes.” She smiles a little, turning on her heel and stepping away from Lena, somehow needing distance and an excuse to look away. “I remember our moons,” she continues softly, voice barely above a whisper, “the lights of Argo City, the red tinge of our sky. The air…the air was different. It smelled almost _sweeter_.” Unbidden, Kara’s eyes close and she thinks of her room in Argo City, thinks of the nights she spent with her Aunt Astra, staring up at the sky, looking at the stars. (She’d had to learn new constellations upon arriving on Earth, but she still remembers with distinct clarity the ones she once saw from Krypton.)

“At least you have Superman,” Lena says, and Kara turns back around, not understanding what she means. “It’s something you share, something you can remember together,” Lena elaborates and it’s like a crack, a quick punch to the gut, and it brings about such a physical ache in Kara’s chest she thinks she might actually groan from the pain. Because Lena—understanding that they’re the same, that in many ways they are alone and the last of their kind—had tried to cheer Kara up by using _Clark_ , unaware that Clark merely adds salt to the wound. (Because her cousin may have the genes of a Kryptonian, but he will never understand what it means to _be_ Kryptonian.)

“He was sent to Earth as a baby,” Kara explains hesitantly, unsure just how much she should give away. “I was a teenager when I arrived on Earth.”

“You’re older than him? But—”

“I got lost,” she says, grinning. For the first time since arriving in Lena’s office, Lena’s answering smile is genuine.

“Is that why you’re here, Supergirl? Because not even your cousin would understand you not liking the holidays?”

“It’s not that I don’t _like_ the holidays,” Kara protests. “I think it’s beautiful. The music, the decorations, the _food_ …” She trails off, not needing to go into detail. It is a well documented fact that Kara Danvers loves the holidays. But then, Kara Danvers is an average person, with an average job, an average paycheck, less-than-average eyesight, and a propensity for using elevators rather than flying to the top floor. Kara Zor-El on the other hand… “Our years on Krypton were shorter, our days longer. I was woken up every day by Kelex, my father and I would travel to different planets as easily as you travel to different countries, I would watch my mother judge criminals, I spent my days trying to figure out if I’d been placed in the right Guild and I just—” She cuts herself off, not knowing what it is she’s trying to say, but knowing she’s never said this much about Krypton to anyone other than Alex. More than anything, it’s that fact that makes her take in a deep breath and rein in her emotions. “I spent half my life celebrating Rao’s light, and then I’m on Earth and everything’s different,” she concludes weakly, waving the hand that’s not gripping her cape around, as if to accentuate her point. To her surprise, Lena nods as if she’s understood.

(And why wouldn’t she? Lena Luthor isn’t an alien, but she knows what it means to feel like you don’t belong. She’s a Luthor without being a Luthor, a pariah within her family as well as to the public.)

“So you try to avoid the holidays by flying around the city?”

“Just like you avoid it by locking yourself up in your office,” Kara answers back, earning a chuckle.

“Christmas is a time for family,” Lena says after a moment’s pause, her smile fading. She seems different, less tense and more open, but there’s a fairly weary look in her eyes that Kara recognizes—she sees the same look in her own eyes every time she wakes up from a dream about her family, her first home. It’s a look she can’t escape from until she spends the morning with Alex or calls Eliza and reminds herself that as alone as she feels, she’s never actually alone. “It can get lonely.”

“New friends help,” Kara says, surprising herself by holding out her hand. It’s awkward and silly and she regrets it when Lena spends the next few seconds merely staring at her proffered hand as if it’s something novel, something she doesn’t understand. Kara’s just about to pull away, drop her hand and just _go_ , when she feels Lena grab her by the wrist and tug her forward, enveloping her in a hug.

Lena is soft and warm and she smells of something vaguely sweet, and Kara can’t help but breathe in deeply. And so gently that Kara would have missed it without her superhearing, Lena says, “I suppose they do.”


	9. drunk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact: I feel like this should go without saying, but omg please don't take legal advice from people on the internet, no matter how well-intentioned they are. they don't understand how law works as well as they think they do and the advice is problematic misinformation at best. do your own research/consult an actual lawyer, always

She knows better than to make bets with Winn, but he’d looked so smug—so _sure_ —that Kara had immediately taken him up on the wager, shaking his hand gleefully as she exclaimed that Maggie and Alex would totally be together by the end of the week. Winn had been less conservative and when she makes it back from Barry’s Earth, she’s met with his enthusiastic grin, cheerfully telling her pay up.

And naturally, rather than money, he wants to see the thing that he missed and only experienced via Alex’s vivid descriptions: watching her get drunk.

(It’d have been all right if only he’d remembered to take her phone.)

“Kara, Kara, _Karrraa_ ,” Winn slurs, draining the last of his beer. Kara’s lost count of how many he’s had, more concerned with staring at the empty shot glasses in front of her, wondering where all her drinks went. “You’re drunk. So drunk.” He slumps in his seat, as if the two sentences wore him out. He leans his head back and closes his eyes, occasionally smacking his lips.

“I’m gonna call Lena,” Kara announces after a moment, staring at her phone once the shot glasses became too boring. Winn cracks one eye open.

“Luthor? Why d’you wanna call _Luthor_?”

“Cause she’s nice,” is Kara’s oh so intelligent response, unsuccessfully attempting to tap in her phone’s lock code, irritated when she gets it wrong so many times that the phone locks itself for the next five minutes. “What’s my passcode?” she asks.

“It’s your birthday,” Winn mumbles, having forgotten about his line of questioning and looking terribly content. “Everyone uses their birthday. It’s like—like no one cares! About security! It matters, Kara _._ You heard me? _Karrrraaa_. It matters.”

“My phone broke.” Kara points to the phone with the broken screen, shattered from her efforts to type in her passcode. Winn blinks several times, his mouth falling open.

“Hey, that’s _my_ phone!” he says indignantly before bursting into laughter. Kara stares at the broken phone for a brief moment before she joins Winn and chuckles heartily. After a minute, she digs through her pockets and pulls out her own phone, grinning widely when it unlocks with no hassle, and she pulls up Lena’s contact. “Don’t do it,” Winn warns. “Dooonn’t do it. That’s got bad idea written all over it.” He waves his hands widely, as if to accentuate his point.

“Where?” Kara demands, flipping her phone over and looking for the writing. Winn merely chuckles in response. “I gotta call her. It’s important.”

“Why?”

“I think she’s mad at me. I told her that her mom is evil. And then Barry came. And I never thanked her.” It doesn’t make sense, at least she doesn’t think it does, but Winn nods as if he’s understood completely, his next words proving that maybe he has.

“That’s Supergirl’s problem.”

“I _am_ Supergirl.”

“Oh right! Haaa, Kara, you’re an _alien_.”

“Winn. _You_ call her. Tell her Kara—no, Supergirl, is sorry.”

“I don’t have a phone,” Winn says sadly, and Kara nods, sorry herself. “How about _you_ call her, and I tell her _I’m_ Supergirl and I apologize.”

“You think you can sound like me?”

“How hard is it?” he asks, straightening a little, placing his hands on either side of him, effectively taking up his entire side of the booth. “ _Hi, I’m Supergirl!_ ” The affectation is horrendous, and Kara can do nothing but make retching noises, sticking out her tongue when Winn protests that she really sounds like that. “As if you could do better,” he says, and neither of them think to point out that yes, she _could_ (she is, after all, Supergirl).

“I have to go,” Kara says suddenly, and without waiting for Winn to comment, she gets up and heads to the bar’s restroom.

And somehow—between the time it takes to use the restroom and make it back to her booth—she calls Lena, lands herself a ride home, and beats someone (she doesn’t even know who) at a game of darts.

x

“I didn’t know Kara Danvers got drunk,” is the first thing Lena says when Kara stumbles into the backseat, both exhausted and slightly nauseous. She’s smiling and she’s _so pretty_ and it’s a damn shame Kara is seeing about two of her (or perhaps it’s a miracle, she hasn’t yet decided).

“Kara Danvers didn’t know either,” Kara mumbles as Lena motions for her driver to set off, and the sudden lurch leaves Kara tipping into Lena’s shoulder. It’s mortifying, having her face pressed against the material of Lena’s coat, but at the same time, it’s comfortable and warm and she _really_ doesn’t want to move. Lena must share this feeling, because she doesn’t pull away. In fact, she seems to shift in order to make Kara more comfortable. “I’m sorry,” she mumbles, not quite sure what she’s apologizing for but knowing she needs to think of a reason _Kara Danvers_ is sorry quick. “I must have put a damper on your night when I called.”

“Not at all. I was just heading home from the office anyway. You were on the way.”

(Lena was at work until _this_ hour? Kara tries not to feel bad except she does and she’s not very good at hiding it.)

“That sucks,” is what she finds herself saying, and Kara swears she hears the driver—a middle-aged man with a spiffy haircut—let out a chuckle.

“What sucks?” Lena asks.

“That you had to work so late.”

“Oh, I’m used to it.”

“That doesn’t make it better,” Kara argues, not quite sure what she’s even upset about: that Lena works hard as the CEO of L-Corp, or that Lena spends her nights alone and seems to be used to it.

“What were _you_ doing out so late?” Lena asks. It’s an obvious attempt to move the conversation along, even while drunk Kara notices it, but she’s too inebriated not to fall for it.

“I lost a bet,” she informs Lena, her voice dropping to a whisper as she hears the driver let out another chuckle. “Alex and Maggie moved faster than I expected them to.”

“Alex—your sister and…?” Lena repeats, eyes widening a little.

“Maggie calls Alex a _baby gay_. Can you believe it? I think it’s so funny. Baby. I can’t imagine Alex being a baby anything. I’ve seen baby pictures of Alex, and let me tell you, infancy did _not_ suit her.”

(Quite frankly, the driver’s attempts at reigning in his chuckles are actually terribly unsuccessful, but Kara doesn’t care because _Lena_ _is_ _laughing_ , her chest rumbling with the sound, and it’s as if Kara’s gotten a massive dose of solar radiation—she feels high and strong and she’d pull a Superman and fly around Earth in order to turn back time if it meant hearing Lena laugh again. She’d do anything to hear that laugh again.)

“You and your sister are obviously really close,” Lena says once her laughter dies down, and Kara hears the tinge of envy in her tone. What she wants to do is tell Lena it’s okay—she wants to pull her into a tight hug, tell her that even if Lex left, Kara would _never_ , but it’s not the same. Just like no one could replace Alex, no one could ever fill that gaping hole in Lena’s chest where Lex used to reside.

All Kara could hope to do is make Lena forget.

“This is only my second time drunk,” she informs Lena, searching for her hand between them and grasping it. She keeps her grip loose, in case Lena wants to pull away, and becomes pleasantly warm— _not_ an effect of the alcohol—when Lena just holds on tighter.

“I think I can tell,” Lena teases, and when Kara turns her head just a tad, she sees a wide grin on the CEO’s face.

“I don’t know how much I like it.”

“You’ll like it less in the morning.”

“Oh no, I forgot about that. And I’ve got _work_.” Her eyes narrow as she thinks of Snapper Carr and the latest article he wants her to write. “I’ve got to find more creative reasons not to interview you.”

“You don’t want to interview me?” Lena asks, sounding mildly hurt. Kara pulls her head away from Lena’s warm shoulder, hastening to explain.

“Carr wants a statement from you. About your mom. But I thought it’d be best to just…leave you alone.”

“So that’s why you’ve been avoiding me? To give me time alone?”

“Avoiding? Avoi—pssh, I haven’t been avoiding _anyone._ ” That’s a lie. She’s 90% sure 70% of the reason she was so easily convinced to help Barry out is because she wanted to avoid everyone (if _everyone_ really entailed just Lena).

(She’s never been good with _feelings_. And she’s lost the person who used to be pretty effective with helping her deal with her emotions—Ms. Grant won’t answer her calls anymore, her voicemail literally stating that she doesn’t want to hear from Keira Danvers for at _least_ the next fifty years.)

“I thought,” Lena’s voice drops to a whisper, so quiet that Kara likely wouldn’t have even heard if it weren’t for her superhearing, “I thought you finally figured out I’m a Luthor. That I’m like my mother.”

“But you’re not,” is Kara’s immediate, and _loud_ , response. “You’re nothing like her! You’re warm and good, and your laugh is pretty and you smell nice…” She loses her train of thought, eyes fixed on Lena’s lips. “What was I saying?”

“That this is only your second time drunk,” Lena says easily, releasing Kara’s hand only to trace up her forearm with her fingertips. “And you’re going to have a terrible hangover.” She swallows hard and pulls her hand away, taking her warmth with her. “So you should really get a good night’s sleep tonight.”

“Right,” Kara mumbles, sure that something just happened—the air between them is decidedly different—but unsure exactly what. All she knows is that she can’t seem to focus on anything other than Lena’s red lips, the way she drags her teeth over the bottom one almost…would one say enticingly? Teasingly?

Temptingly?

“I’ll call you tomorrow,” Lena says and she presses those lips to Kara’s cheek and yes, Kara decides the word she’s been looking for is _seductively_.

“I broke Winn’s phone,” she says, unsure why this is relevant information but needing to say it because she’s rather sure if given half the chance she’ll throw caution to the wind, hoping the driver isn’t a pervert, all to find out what those lips taste like. But Lena seems to be reading her mind because she’s shaking her head with a smile.

“Tomorrow, Kara,” she repeats, tilting her head towards the window. To Kara’s astonishment, she finds that the car has stopped right outside her apartment building, the driver looking determinedly at his phone.

She stumbles out of the car, thanking Lena and the driver profusely.

(Lena keeps her promise—she calls around midday, inquires after Kara’s hangover, and then promptly asks Kara out on a date.

Kara says yes.)


	10. ally epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact: once upon a time I thought I'd do a mini series type thing for ally. like the evolving relationship between kara and lena and their family. but I also dream too big so I hope this'll do instead

“Have you seen my heels?”

Kara didn’t look up as she answered. “Um, I think the girls kicked it under the couch when chasing—hey, stop it Liz, you’re supposed to swallow your food, not throw it at your sister.” 

“She started it,” Liz protested, pointing towards Ally and narrowing her eyes. Ally, two years older and at the stage where she believed herself to be far superior to her younger sister, mimicked her Aunt Alex’s huff of disbelief and shook her head.

“You heard Mom, Liz,” she said, sounding more like Lena than she did an eight-year-old. “Don’t throw your food. We eat food. Like this.” She mimicked eating, and Liz’s eyes went wide.

Kara winced, bracing herself for what she knew was coming.

“I know how to eat, Ally! Mom, tell her I know how to eat! Mom!” 

“Okay,” Kara said, holding up a hand. “That’s enough. Ally, don’t antagonize your sister. And Liz, stop throwing things.” 

“Yeah, Ally. Don’t antgize me,” Liz said with her chin raised high. Ally opened her mouth, clearly about to respond and extend this argument well into the ride to work with her, when Lena walked over, her shirt still not fully buttoned, wearing only one shoe, the other dangling from her hand. 

“Kara, I pushed my meeting to next week, so you can take care of your assignment tonight. But we’re going to have to cancel lunch if I want to take off early to pick up the girls.” 

Kara grinned, fixing Lena’s shirt and then allowing her to use her for balance as she leaned over to put her other shoe on. “Thank you. I know the assignment was super last minute,” she said, leaning over to press a quick kiss to Lena’s lips. Ally and Liz, united by their mutual dislike of their parents’ PDA, got over their food feud and made retching noises together before dissolving into giggles. “I’ll swing by, drop off some food. I know you’ll skip lunch otherwise.” 

“Yeah, yeah,” Lena mumbled, waving a hand and turning to the girls. “You two, behave for your mom, okay? I’ll see you at 4:30.” She kissed Liz and Ally on the foreheads, gave Kara one last fond look, then grabbed her bag and left. 

Kara sighed, reveling in the silence that followed her wife’s departure, and then: “Why do you have to work at all, Mom? You’re Supergirl.” 

“Don’t be dumb, Ally,” Liz responded, rolling her eyes. “Mom isn’t Supergirl, she’s a _reporter_.” She stressed the word like it was something bad, and Kara just took in a deep breath before gathering the dishes from their breakfast and taking it to the sink. 

“Liz, why don’t you go get dressed? And pick _one_ thing to bring with you.”

“Aww, just one?” Liz complained, but she did as she was told, sliding off her chair and skipping down the hallway towards her bedroom. Kara waited till she was sure Liz was safely out of hearing range, and she turned to Ally. 

“We had a deal, Als,” she said, raising an eyebrow, hands on her hips. “It’s a secret until Liz is a little older.” 

Ally—dark haired and blue eyed, looking a little bit more like her father as the years dragged on, but acting more and more like her aunt every single day, and smarter than either of them were at that age—frowned. “You promised you’d teach me more about Krypton.”

“And I will.” When Ally just gave her a disbelieving look, Kara stepped closer to her, dropping to her eye-level. “Look, I have some time off in a few weeks. What if I took you to the Fortress of Solitude?” 

“Just you and me?” 

(It wasn’t as strange to Kara that Ally seemed to gravitate towards her more than Lena as it was in the beginning. Lena liked to joke that it was Ally’s Luthor genes shining through, wanting to be close to a Kryptonian just like her father and aunt. 

But for Kara...it felt _nice_. Because what it was, more than anything, was evidence that Ally—for better or for worse—had chosen to see Kara as one of her mothers, that she accepted Kara the way she was, that she wanted to be involved with aspects of Kara’s life that she hid away for so long.)

“Just you and me,” Kara confirmed. “But we’ll have to ask Mommy for the okay, okay?”

“Aww, that’s what you said about the zoo, too! And Mommy said no.” Ally’s eyes narrowed. “You and Mommy play good cop and bad cop, that’s what Aunt Maggie says.”

“Don’t listen to your Aunt Maggie,” Kara said with a grin, straightening as Liz came running back towards them. 

“I’m ready, I’m ready, I’m ready!” she sang, dragging a massive duffel bag behind her. “It’s _one_ thing,” she defended when Kara gave her a look. “You didn't say the one thing couldn’t be filled with other things.” 

“Ally, help your sister choose _one toy,_ I need to get dressed.”

(And after much protest, an accident involving glitter, and a brief panic when Ally thought she forgot her books at home, they finally found their way to Kara’s office, only a tiny bit late.

Though if you asked Kara, she wouldn’t really have it any other way.) 

x

“Liz, please stop running, you know I can’t chase after you in heels,” Lena called out, watching carefully as Liz raced towards the swing set at the park. Ally, who was walking to Lena’s right, let out a soft snort and finally looked up from the book she’d been engrossed in since Lena picked the girls up from Kara’s office. 

“Mom said we should tie a bell to her, so that she can always hear where Liz runs off to,” Ally informed her, marking where she left off in her book and snapping it shut as she followed Lena to one of the benches, sitting down dutifully next to her. “I think it’s a good idea.”

Lena reached out, smoothing back Ally’s hair and smiling when this prompted Ally to lean into her. “I do, too. Though we may not need a bell,” she said, looking over at where Liz was now singing at the top of her lungs, ignoring the looks from the other children. “Did you have a good day with your sister and your mom’s office?” 

“Yeah. We got ice cream. I’m not supposed to tell you, but for half an hour, Mom had leave us for a Supergirl emergency. Uncle James watched us.” 

“Really?” Lena said, trying not to laugh. “Your mom isn’t very sneaky. I saw her on the news.” Oddly, this made Ally pull away, gnawing at her lip, her fingers running up and down the spine of her book. “What’s wrong, Alexandra?” Lena asked softly, knowing that the use of her full name would let Ally know she was being serious. For a moment, though, it didn’t seem as if Ally was going to respond. “Is this about you wanting to learn more about Krypton?”

“No. Mom wants to take me to the Fortress. She said we’d need your permission.”

Lena didn’t take the bait, didn’t let Ally change the subject. “Come on, Ally. What’s the matter?” 

“Last week, when Mom got hurt, were you..did you...I don’t like Supergirl,” she finished, expression hardening. 

(And, oh, Lena thought they’d have more time. More time with Ally as a _kid_ , a kid who saw her superhero mom and thought it was cool, a kid who didn’t realize how much danger her mom was in every time she put on the suit. 

But Ally was the smartest kid Lena had ever met, even after accounting for her bias regarding her daughter. So of course Ally would catch on, of course Ally would worry, of course Ally would want to spend more time with Kara.) 

“I get scared too, you know. Every time I see your mom on the television, every time she gets hurt. That’s normal, worrying for the people you love.” When Ally turns to look at her, Lena tucks a stray strand of hair behind Ally’s ear. “Loving someone doesn’t mean we can control what they do, though. Do you understand what I mean?” 

“Yeah,” Ally sighs. “Mom has to ask you for permission to go to the Fortress with me, but she doesn’t have to ask you to fight a bad man.” 

Lena chuckles, figuring Ally’s basically gotten the point. “You make her very happy, you know. When you ask about Krypton, want to know more. She _wants_ to share it with you. And Liz, when she’s older. And you should talk to her, about Supergirl. Maybe if you hear from her why it’s so important to her, you’ll see Supergirl differently. Like I do.” 

Ally didn’t respond, but Lena didn’t really need her to. Instead, she got up and held out her hand, waiting for Ally to take it before she called out to Liz, who came running with a big grin.

And together, hand in hand, they began walking home.

x

When Kara made it home that night, it was completely silent. 

She chucked off her shoes and deposited her bag next to the couch before slowly walking towards their bedroom, pausing as she walked by the room Ally and Liz shared. 

The two of them were curled up on the bottom bunk of their bed, Liz gripping onto one of Ally’s hands, the other one near her mouth, as if she’d fallen asleep sucking on her thumb. Ally was sleeping protectively next to Liz, as if _she’d_ fallen asleep talking to her sister. 

Kara blinked as she realized: Ally must’ve fallen asleep telling Liz a story. 

(That was Kara’s job. Every night, reading a story. Sometimes in English, but often—especially when the girls were younger—it was in Kryptonian.) 

She walked over, pulled their covers over them, pressed barely there kisses to their foreheads, and then turned to head out. But then: “Love you, Mom. Good night.” 

And when Kara made it back to her bedroom—when she slid into bed next to Lena, smiling when Lena immediately grabbed her arm and pulled it around her waist, making sure they were snugly pressed together—she couldn’t help but smile and press a kiss to the back of Lena’s neck. 

Tomorrow, Liz would be starting a new daycare and Ally would be going back to school, and there were meetings and late hours Lena needed to worry about and Supergirl duties and deadlines Kara worried about. 

But here now, her daughters were sleeping in the other room, her wife was warm in her arms, and everything was just perfect. 

(And Kara really, really wouldn’t have it any other way.) 


	11. vegan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact: this fic was unimaginatively called vegan when first uploaded. on my computer, the word doc is called addsg (???), and in the doc itself, the fic is called AWKWARD DOUBLE DATE (again, unimaginatively)
> 
> also, if anyone remembers what the fic 'nice' was about, let me know please??

It seemed a pretty swell idea when she came up with it, drunk on alien ale and feeling warm and happy and in love with everyone. Winn had made an odd comment about Alex not liking Lena, hurriedly attempting to fix his mistake by shrugging and claiming it was okay because Kara wasn’t all that fond of Maggie. And Kara—offended, drunk, and determined to prove Winn wrong—had slammed her fists on the table, ignoring the disapproving look M’gann shot her way in response, and spoke without thinking.

“We get along _great_ ,” she slurred, giggling when Alex nodded vigorously and leaned heavily against her shoulder. “We can _prove_ it.”

“Oh yeah?” Winn asked, looking a little like he regretted remaining sober for the night. “And how would you do that?”

“A double date!” Kara cried, ignoring James’s laughter and Alex’s groans. “It would be _amazing_. We’ll get drinks and dinner and all those things humans do—”

“Come on, Kara, your _secret_ —” Winn unsuccessfully tried to cut in.

“—and when it’s all done Alex will love Lena and I’ll love Maggie and we’ll live happily ever after,” Kara continued happily, glad to see that Alex was nodding along in agreement. James and Winn didn’t seem as convinced.

“You already do love Maggie,” James pointed out slowly, astonishingly clear despite the many, _many_ drinks he’d consumed. “You love her because Alex loves her. But you don’t _like_ her.”

“I like her just fine,” Kara argued, wondering if her protest really sounded as weak as it did to her own ears.

“It’s okay, Kara. It’s not like Alex likes Lena,” Winn said, sounding distracted as he thoughtfully looked over at the bar. M’gann’s eyes narrowed, and Kara watched her shake her head, looking doubly unimpressed. Winn sighed and slouched against the table, staring at James’s drink with a longing expression.

“I like Lena,” Alex supplied, after at least a full minute of silence. She shuffled, pressing her head into Kara’s shoulder, the same annoyed expression she always got when dealing with Kara being ‘stupidly hard’ appearing on her face. “I do, but—”

“Alex said but!” Winn shouted, throwing his hands up in the air. “I was right! I was _right_!”

“I don’t think this is something you want to be right about, man,” James offered slowly, tipping his head back and draining the last of his drink.

“I don’t like any of you,” Kara declared, huffing and crossing her arms over her chest, ignoring Alex’s grunt of disapproval at the movement that jostled her head. “In fact, you’re uninvited. No more alien bar for you.”

“You can’t do that,” Winn said.

Kara rolled her eyes and shook her head, staring at Winn as she spoke. “M’gann?” she called.

“She can do that,” M’gann shouted back without even looking their way. Kara grinned victoriously while Winn sighed, more put out than before.

“You can threaten to kick us out of the bar,” he said petulantly, “and you’re too nice to not like Maggie and you might even manage to get Alex to like Lena. But there’s no way Maggie and Lena will get along.”

“Is that a _challenge_?” Kara asked, leaning forward, her nose only inches from Winn’s, her finger in his face. He swallowed nervously, but nodded.

“It is.”

“You’re on,” Kara said, slamming her fists against the table, cracking it right down the middle.

From the bar, M’gann let out a loud groan and wearily pointed behind her to the tip jar with the words ‘Kara’s Damage Fund’ written across the label.

x

Kara smiled softly into her thermos of coffee, her eyes fixed on the red and orange and yellow leaves scattered on the ground, rustling with each gust of wind. The air was chilly enough that its nip made passersby pull their coats tighter around themselves, tugging the sleeves of the sweaters lower in order to keep their fingers warm.

(She loved the changing of seasons—it was one thing she found she loved more about Earth than Krypton, where the world seemed too crafted, too manmade, where they were proudest of larges structures with gleaming lights and cities whose smog hid the bright stars in the sky.

But Earth—on Earth there were chirping birds and white fluff that fell from the sky and leaves crunching underfoot, and hot, long summer days spent soaking up the light of the yellow sun. On Earth, there was so much _life_ , so much color, so much beauty, and it was hard not to breathe in the fresh air and feel _full_.)

“Something funny?” Lena asked as she walked up to Kara’s bench, the smell of pumpkin spice wafting from her coffee cup, looking awfully content with her large coat and pink cheeks. Without really thinking about it, Kara stuck out her hand expectantly, and without the slightest bit of hesitation, Lena took it as she sat down—their shoulders pressed tightly together and their fingers intertwined.

(It was new, this casualness to their relationship. They’d started off rocky and unsure, Kara afraid to push too far and Lena pulling back with every two steps forward.

But then, somewhere down the line, they met halfway.)

“Yeah,” Kara chuckled, putting her coffee aside and using her free hand to tug on Lena’s coat lapels, “I think it’s funny that you’re so cold. It feels _great_ out here.”

“Not all of us were blessed with your DNA,” Lena replied smoothly, moving closer to Kara, likely for the added warmth. “Some people have all the luck.”

“And to think I flew all the way here to visit you,” Kara sighed dramatically, hand over her heart.

Lena turned her head so that she could give Kara a proper side-eye.

“Alex called me earlier,” she accused, raising her eyebrows. “You’re avoiding her.”

“What, no I’m not.”

“Is that why you flew to Metropolis, even though you _knew_ I’d be back later tonight?”

“I missed you, is that really so wrong?”

“ _Kara_ ,” Lena finally stressed, making Kara fall silent and turn away, if only to avoid Lena’s worried eyes. “What’s wrong?”

(She didn’t want to say. It had nothing to do with Lena or Alex, or even Maggie, but as Kara thought back on her behavior the night before, the less and less enthused she became at the very idea of a double date.

Because Winn was _right_ , even if she hated admitting that. It wasn’t that she was afraid of Alex not getting along with Lena or that she wouldn’t be able to get along with Maggie—she was mostly afraid that the second Lena set eyes on Maggie and vice versa the entire thing would blow up in their faces.

She just wished she knew _why_ Lena and Maggie didn’t see eye-to-eye—thus far, neither one of them had spilled the secret, making meddling rather difficult.)

“I might have made a bet with Winn.”

“Really, again? They never turn out great, it usually ends with either you or Winn really drunk or really sad,” Lena said thoughtfully, kissing Kara apologetically on the cheek when her phone dinged, drawing her attention to whatever message Jess or Hector had sent her.

“Well this time no one will be drunk or sad because it actually involves you, Alex, and Maggie!” Kara said quickly, hoping Lena would be too distracted by her furious typing (obviously unhappy by the news she’d just gotten) to pay Kara any heed.

Sadly, Lena’s penchant to always be present when they were together shined through, and her thumbs immediately stopped as she turned to Kara with wide, terrified eyes.

“Sorry, I think I misheard you,” she began slowly, her cheeks still pink though Kara had a feeling that it was for a different reason entirely now—red from anger rather than the chill.

“Winn insulted your honor,” Kara tried, holding up her free hand in surrender, not liking the way Lena’s eyes narrowed. “He said you and Maggie couldn’t get along. But he’s wrong. He _is_ ,” she stressed when Lena continued to glare.

“Maggie and I get along fine,” she said, sounding less than convincing. “We just don’t know each other, that’s all.”

“So a double date is a good idea?”

“A _what_?” Lena asked, dropping her phone.

Kara grinned weakly and took Lena’s reaction as a resounding maybe.

x

She tried to convince herself what she was doing wasn’t creepy, but no matter how many times she closed her eyes and promised that it was for a good cause, she felt terribly creepy regardless.

What made it worse was that she was sure Maggie had caught on.

(At least, that was what she hoped the long sighs and the weary glances at the sky meant. Otherwise, she wasn’t quite sure how to feel if she had to break the news to Alex that Maggie had an issue with clouds.)

It was late when Maggie ducked into an alleyway behind her apartment, leaning against the brick wall of her building and staring up at the night sky.

“Can you stop stalking me and just talk instead, Little Danvers?” Maggie said into the night after a long minute of silence, and Kara smile sheepishly as she gently floated down, leaning against the wall across from Maggie. “You’ve been following me all day,” she accused, staring at Kara with a cross between amusement and confusion. “What’s up?”

“I wasn’t sure how to—”

“—Kara,” she interrupted, sounding less like a cop suddenly and more like a friend—a sister. “You don’t need to break things gently to me, I’m tough, I can handle it. Just tell me what’s wrong.”

“It’s you and Lena.”

An uneasy expression flitted over Maggie’s face before she was able to mask it.

“What about me and Luthor?”

“You don’t get along.”

“So? You don’t get along with plenty of people. In fact, just tonight there are plenty of people in lockup who don’t get along with you.”

“Fine,” Kara admitted, waving off Maggie’s point. “You don’t _like_ Lena.”

“I like her just fine.”

“Enough to go on a double date?” Kara asked, watching as Maggie visibly blanched. “If this is about the whole arresting her thing, she’s okay with that. She made _me_ see that you were only doing your job.”

“Kara, that’s not—”

“—then _what_? What could possibly be so bad that the two of you won’t spend any time in the same room together?”

“Look, Kara,” Maggie began hesitantly, looking around like she was afraid of being overheard or seen, “Luthor and I…we know something about each other that’s—well, it’s not cool. It was a moment of weakness and—”

“Oh Rao, you were _together_?”

“What? No, of course not!” Maggie all but shouted, pushing against the wall and approaching Kara hurriedly. “No, it’s nothing like that _at all_ ,” she insisted, sounding sincere. Kara believed her, if only because she seemed so horrified that Kara would immediately jump to _that_ conclusion. “No, it’s not that,” she repeated, sounding relieved as Kara’s tense shoulders relaxed. “But I can’t tell you. We promised we’d never mention it, but being around her—Kara, you don’t understand, being around her makes it tough not to mention.”

“You’re right, I don’t understand at all.”

“Kara—”

“I know Alex told you about the double date, and I know you’ve been trying to avoid it. But you can’t,” Kara stated matter-of-factly, daring for Maggie to argue. “I’ve got a bet riding on this and Lena already agreed. So you’ll be there tomorrow night, and you’re going to be nice to Lena.”

Maggie’s eyes narrowed, her lips pressed into a thin line, but she nodded.

“Fine, but the second Luthor stops being nice, so will I.”

Kara didn’t even bother to ask what that meant—Maggie likely wouldn’t answer, and she didn’t think she wanted to know anyway.

x

The restaurant had gone all out on their ‘fall’ theme, complete with red and orange and yellow décor and the random pumpkin or two in odd corners. Someone had placed Halloween decorations near the bathroom, including a skeleton that popped out at you when you opened the door, something that Kara was sure was a safety hazard.

She turned slightly in her chair to mention stupid practical jokes and weak human hearts only to stop short when she noticed Maggie and Lena eyeing each other warily from across the table, Alex staring at them both with a fairly perplexed expression.

“What happened?” Kara mock-whispered, wanting to make light of the whole thing, a little surprised when neither Lena nor Maggie seemed to hear her at all.

“I told Maggie that I checked to make sure there were vegan options for her,” Alex explained slowly, as if unsure what she had seen had really transpired, “and Lena _laughed_. Loudly, too.”

“Was it a good laugh or a bad laugh?” Kara asked in a real whisper, now relatively sure they were off to a bad start, hating that she’d been so distracted by the skeleton and the carved pumpkins that she missed the entire exchange.

“I couldn’t tell, I don’t think I’ve ever heard Lena laugh like that.”

Kara filed that information away, intending on getting to the bottom of it later, but before she could mention the skeleton (to break the ice she hoped, somehow anyway), she saw Maggie smile brilliantly at Lena.

“Thought about what you’ll order, Luthor?” she asked, pushing a menu towards Lena with an exaggerated flourish. “Can I suggest something for you?” she asked, pointing towards an item near the bottom that had Kara laughing.

“Chili cheese fries? Lena would never—”

“I’ll get the fries if you get the burger, Sawyer,” Lena said, ignoring Kara entirely.

“Oh, I hear good things about the veggie burger here actually—” Alex tried, only to be cut off as well.

“Look at that,” Lena said with faux surprise, “there’s a burger that’s nearly two pounds of beef! Don’t you want to try that, detective?”

“All right, listen up—” Maggie began, only to be cut off when Kara and Alex stood up in unison, Kara feeling upset that she’d lost the bet, Alex with a soft sigh. “Where are you two going?”

“Kara and I are going to have a sister night.”

“Right now?” Lena asked incredulously, staring at all their untouched drinks and the waiter who had just come by to take their orders.

“I hate to admit it, but Winn was right. This was a bad idea,” Kara shrugged. And she didn’t mean to sound so despondent, so _broken_ , but it came out that way anyway—one big, massive guilt trip.

It turned out to be a pointless one, though. As she and Alex left the restaurant, Kara could still hear Lena and Maggie bickering over fries and burgers.

x

She heard them come up the stairs, still arguing, long before they even knocked on her door, but Kara still took her time to get up and answer, hoping to make them sweat it out a little.

(She wasn’t upset, not really. She was a tiny bit annoyed that she’d lost to Winn and perhaps a little hurt that Lena and Maggie weren’t even bothering to try—or at least explain why they couldn’t get along—but she wasn’t upset.

And if Alex mentioned that Kara had said that exact phrase one too many times for it to be entirely true…well, Maggie and Lena didn’t need to know that.)

“Don’t open the door,” Alex shouted from the couch as Kara reached for the door, the bickering behind it going silent, “they’ll just argue again, we _just_ managed to escape that.”

“We can’t be _mean_ ,” Kara mumbled, not quite sure how much she agreed with that statement when she opened the door just to see Lena and Maggie glaring at each other in silence, as if each was daring the other to speak first. With a sigh, Kara turned her head to look at Alex. “We should’ve been mean.”

“Wait,” Lena said, dragging her eyes away from Maggie and giving Kara the look that always got her to stop whatever she was doing to just _listen_ to Lena. (It was an unfortunate power Lena held over her, a certain sway she was able to execute with nothing more than her mere presence—be it through a quick call or text while at work or that soft smile sent Kara’s way during evenings huddled together, catching up on television.) “We owe you and Alex an explanation. And as _embarrassing_ as this will be—”

“—as much grief as we’ll get for it—” Maggie interjected, looking a little bit miserable.

“—as much grief as we’ll get,” Lena agreed, the conciliatory tone enough that Kara smiled widely and moved aside to let Lena and Maggie into the apartment, “we have to tell you.”

“You’re getting along _and_ you brought dinner?” Kara said happily, reaching for the bag in Lena’s hands. “You’re forgiven.”

“No, they’re not,” Alex called.

Kara steeled herself up once more.

“Right. No, you’re not,” Kara informed Lena and Maggie. She closed the door behind them, watching with amusement as Maggie hesitantly approached Alex, looking a little bit like she was afraid of spooking her girlfriend.

“The truth is,” Lena began, her eyes only for Kara, “well, the truth is—”

“—I’m not really vegan!”

Alex sat up ramrod straight, her eyes flashing.

“What do you _mean_ you’re not really vegan?” she demanded in a whisper. “We’ve been eating vegan ice cream. I haven’t had eggs for breakfast in ages. You refused to get milk just the other day. Milk!”

Kara was horrified.

“You haven’t had _eggs_ for breakfast?” she asked, Alex’s requests for breakfast at odd times during the day suddenly making much more sense. “You haven’t had _milk_?”

“You’re making this sound worse than it is, Kara,” Maggie muttered, not looking Kara’s way while Lena chuckled. “And you, Luthor, you’re next.” Her words were enough to silence Lena immediately, a curious reaction that had Kara forgetting all about the travesty of no eggs and focus on the strange way Lena’s right eyebrow was moving higher and higher up. “Alex, listen,” Maggie continued, voice soft now, “I do like vegan ice cream. I just do. But you thought that it meant I _was_ vegan, and you took it so seriously—you made sure every restaurant had vegetarian options, you switched to black coffee because of the lack of milk, and I,” she stopped, wringing her hands a little and giving Alex a pleading look, “and I felt bad. I didn’t know how to explain I just liked the vegan ice cream. I couldn’t say that I liked burgers and eggs and chocolate milk and it became easier to, well, pretend.”

“So what does that have to do with Lena?” Kara asked, cutting in before Alex could say a word in response.

“We, well, we ran into each other one afternoon a few months ago,” Lena admitted softly. “All I’d eaten was a kale salad, and I’m a person too, so I went to that diner you like—”

“You went to Charlie’s?” Kara exclaimed, mouth falling open. “You never want to go to Charlie’s, you always say it’s bad for me—”

“—she was chowing down on a plate of chili cheese fries, Kara,” Maggie said happily, apparently glad the focus was off her. “She was sitting in the back, trying to keep hidden—”

“—like you weren’t there to order a burger, Sawyer,” Lena shot back, arms crossed over her chest. “At least I didn’t _lie_ about being a vegan, I just craved something unhealthy—”

“This entire time,” Alex interrupted, getting to her feet and circling the couch, apparently in a daze, “I thought you two didn’t like each other because of everything that’s happened with Cadmus and Lillian and Maggie wanting to protect aliens. But it turns out you really don’t get along because you caught each other at the same _diner_?” 

Lena and Maggie didn’t seem to have an answer for Alex, Maggie biting her lip anxiously, Lena staring at the ceiling a little too intently.

Kara, on the other hand, was thrilled.

“Do you know what this means?” she asked with a wide smile, drawing everyone’s attention. “I won the bet!”

x

Kara wasn’t exactly sure how Alex and Maggie made up—though J’onn had made some jokes about having too many eggs for breakfast one morning, which left Alex grumbling—but she forgave Lena for going to Charlie’s without her rather quickly.

And if that had a little to do with the fact that Lena rolled her eyes and wordlessly accepted the cheeseburger Kara pushed her way instead of the green smoothie and salad Kara usually got her for lunch, well, that was really between Kara and Lena.


	12. jealous pt 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact: I have a fic earlier in this compilation thing that's called lucky. that's not lucky. this fic is. I should reallllly rethink the way I do titles

The Danvers Sisters Game Night had, at its inception, been a way for Kara and Alex to guilt Jeremiah and Eliza into spending more time with them. (After Jeremiah went to work for the DEO to protect Kara, Eliza spent more and more time at the university, and more often than not, Alex and Kara were left to their own devices, playing Monopoly long past midnight.) Over time, Game Night had evolved to include their friends—Alex had invited this one girl to their game night nearly a dozen times back in high school—and when Alex had gone off to college, was cancelled entirely.

It was only after Kara moved to National City that Game Night made a comeback, consisting of Alex, Winn, and James. (In her head, Kara continued to call it the Danvers Sisters Game Night, even though Alex made less effort to show up, and Winn had become a permanent fixture in the event.) For Kara, it’s only natural for her to invite Lena (and Maggie, though she doesn’t tell Alex, hoping it’ll be a fun surprise) to Game Night. Lena is her friend, friends come to Game Night, and Game Night is fun. It seems like a no brainer.

She’s never been so wrong in her life.

While James texts, not paying attention to the game of charades they’re playing, Maggie and Alex talk to each other in undertones, Maggie’s expression quickly ranging from understanding to mildly panicked to full-fledged confusion. Hoping to at least see participation from Winn and Lena, Kara is devastated (really, she is, it’s not an exaggeration at all) to see that they’re far more interested in each other than they are in attempting to figure out if Kara’s arm waving is more akin to an orangutan or a walrus. (So she’s not a good actor, that’s not the point.)

The point is that it’s family—no, _Danvers_ Sisters Game Night, and _nobody_ seems to care.

“I designed the suit,” Winn tells Lena, shrugging a little. Kara’s mouth falls open, her arms fall to the side, and she’s barely able to begin shaking her head before Lena’s eyebrows shoot up.

“You know Supergirl?” she asks, sounding impressed. She leans towards Winn a little, and Kara thinks maybe actual lights turn on in Winn’s eyes. It’s ridiculous. She’s disgusted, really.

“Oh yeah,” Winn says, oblivious to Kara’s vehement head shaking. “It took a few tries. She didn’t really like the more revealing ones, though to be fair, I can see how it’s counterintuitive—”

“So you know who she is,” Lena says, cutting into Winn’s rambling. “You know, when she’s not _super_?” The way she says that makes Kara’s cheeks flush, but she’s spared the embarrassment of having to come up with a way of shutting Winn up, because Alex’s ‘Kara is in trouble’ radar finally seems to go off and she abandons Maggie to clap Winn on the back. It looks friendly, but judging from Winn’s wince, it was painful.

“You know what I’ve been craving? One of your cocktails. You should make a few.”

“But I’m—”

“Go, Winn,” Alex orders, and Winn hangs his head, mumbling under his breath as he heads to the kitchen. James finally looks up from his phone, looking terribly confused. “Important conversation?” Alex asks, narrowing her eyes. James clears his throat.

“It’s Lucy, actually. She says she’s coming into town for a few days next week for a quick visit.” Maggie just looks lost, Winn makes a half-hearted whoop from the kitchen, but Kara jumps up and down, grinning ear to ear.

“Lucy is visiting! That’s great news! I have _so_ much to tell her, it’s been so lonely without her around—”

“—yeah, it has,” Alex agrees, laughing when Kara pulls her into a hug.

“Sorry, who’s Lucy?” Maggie asks, sounding strange.

“My ex,” James says, almost sounding bashful about it. Kara doesn’t know why. Even when she felt Lucy was competition, she thought Lucy was amazing.

“She’s the greatest, she’s fun and kind and very pretty,” Kara gushes, so caught up in missing Lucy that she doesn’t notice Maggie’s raised eyebrows. “I mean, she’s my best friend.”

“Hey,” Winn calls out, throwing his hands up. “What about me?”

“What about you?” Kara asks, still feeling bitter towards him and not knowing why.

“After everything we’ve been through, Kara,” Winn mutters in mock sadness, shaking his head woefully, wiping away an invisible tear.

“It’s all right, Winn,” Lena says, her smile wide and sweet. “You and I can be friends.”

And she doesn’t really know why, but for the rest of the night, Kara finds herself not speaking at all.

x

“You have a problem.”

“What? No. I don’t—that’s so rude, Alex. You can’t just say that. I have _no_ problem.”

“You’ve got a big problem, Kara.” Alex pushes the potstickers towards her once more, giving her a pointed look when Kara refuses it the second time. “You never say no to food.”

“Yeah I do. All the time.”

“No, Kara. Never. You’re like a machine.”

“Okay, that’s the second rude thing you’ve said to me, honestly I think Sister Night is cancelled.”

“Kara,” Alex begins, placing her plate of food down on the coffee table in order to turn and face her. For her part, Kara stares at the ceiling and tries to pretend she can’t hear the tinge of worry in her sister’s voice. “Winn went through me and J’onn and we both agreed it was okay. She’s only going to be helping with setting up a more user-friendly database. And she’ll be with Winn the whole time.”

“ _That’ssortoftheproblem_ ,” Kara mumbles under her breath, but when Alex looks at her quizzically, she just shrugs. “I don’t have an issue with Lena being at the DEO.”

“Really?”

“Absolutely. I’m…fine. So fine. Better than fine. Almost great, really.” 

“I don’t know if you’re trying to convince me or yourself.”

“Um, neither.” She grins awkwardly and makes finger guns at Alex, still not quite able to meet her sister’s eyes. “Because I’m…so…great. Just great. Winn and Lena are great. It’s all….”

“Great?” 

“Yup. Exactly. I’m glad you agree.”

“What’s going on between you and Lena?” Alex finally asks, deciding to give up on skirting around the issue and instead—as she is wont to do—tackle it head on. “This is like James all over again.”

“Ha! What? Psh, Alex. You’re crazy. So crazy. James and Lena, ha. No. Hey, you know what, I think I _will_ eat those potstickers. Oh man, is that Harrison Ford?” Alex doesn’t turn to face the television. Instead, she lets out a sigh and shakes her head.

“You’re a terrible liar. How is it everyone doesn’t know you’re Supergirl?”

“Dey dohn sushpet anyding uf Kara Dahnvers!” Kara says gleefully between a mouthful of food. And Alex just shrugs, not looking at all inclined to decipher Kara’s words.

x

“He doesn’t look all that scary,” Kara says, hands on her hips, eyes on the computer screen. “I could take him.”

“Don’t underestimate this alien, Supergirl,” J’onn says, his usual frown in place. “I’ve had dealings with them before. They’re tough, resilient, and smart.”

“He looks like a strong wind could blow him away,” Kara argues, ignoring Alex’s huff. She’s not quite sure if Alex agrees with J’onn, and she doesn’t really want to find out. She just wants to punch something.

“Everything about him is poisonous,” Winn says from behind his desk, looking away from whatever he and Lena are working on. “His skin, his breath, his tears. The alien is a walking biohazard.”

“Yes, but I’m not human. So it’ll be fine.”

“We actually don’t know how you’ll be affected—”

“We’re wasting time arguing about this,” Kara says, tearing her eyes away from the screen and turning to the others, studiously ignoring the way Winn places his hand on Lena’s shoulder in order to point something out to her. (She doesn’t know why, but it makes her want to throw something into space. Maybe Winn in a spaceship. She could get him later.) “I’ll just go. Punch him. Then come back. Everyone wins.”

“Supergirl—” But Kara’s not listening anymore. Lena had just laughed at something Winn said, and Kara _really_ needs to punch something.

x

It doesn’t go well.

Obviously it wouldn’t.

It doesn’t help that when she wakes up after her fight, only Alex sits next to her, explaining that J’onn had more ‘personal business’ to attend to now that he knew she’d be okay, and Winn and Lena had gone out for dinner. (And honestly, how rude. She risks her life for the city and she doesn’t even get the courtesy of a ‘hey, you okay?’ from the people she considers friends. Or ex-friends, in Winn’s case.)

Mercifully, Alex doesn’t go with the ‘I told you so’ route. But Kara has trouble meeting her sister’s disappointed gaze regardless, especially when she feels Alex take her hand, squeezing gently.

“You okay?” Alex asks softly.

“Yeah, I am.”

“You can tell me anything, you know.”

“I may have a slight problem.”

“I figured.”

“What do I do? What if I just have a thing for people who aren’t available?”

“I like Winn. But let me tell you,” Alex says, smiling at Kara like she always does (like she’s sure Kara is responsible for the rising and setting sun), “she’d be _crazy_ to choose him over you.”

“I feel like you’re biased.”

“Well, I am. But that doesn’t mean I’m wrong. I’ve had years to figure out how great you are. She’s only had a few weeks.” Alex squeezes Kara’s hand once more and Kara finally meets her sister’s eyes. 

“Can we have an impromptu sister night? I feel like we could use one.”

“As long as the movie you choose doesn’t have Patrick Dempsey in it.”

“But he’s so pretty!”

x

“Come on, Mon-El, you’re not even trying!” Kara shouts, trying to egg him on, watching him jump to his feet and sway a little.

“Are you this harsh with all the people you mentor?” he asks, unamused. He charges once more and Kara easily flips him over, remembering the moves Alex once taught her—in a room much like this one, if filled with lights that mimicked kryptonite. (She idly wonders what happened to those, if Clark got rid of them like the rest of the green stuff.)

“I’ve never been a mentor before,” Kara admits, frowning as Mon-El huffs and slowly gets to his feet once more, wincing just a little bit. “You’re my guinea pig!”

“Lucky me,” he mutters bitterly, rubbing his ribs and wincing again. “Remind me why I decided to put myself through this again?”

“Because you want to be a better person. Better than you were on Daxam.” Mon-El’s face falls as he nods, clenching his hands into fists as he prepares himself for another bout. (When he’d finally gotten around to admitting what he’d tried to confess when Cadmus captured them, Kara had been…well, she’d been so _sad_. The thought that this person she had so much faith in had actually _abandoned_ the prince, not been saved by him, had been hard to swallow. But it’s all right; so her job is a little harder than she thought, it doesn’t mean it’s _impossible_.)

(Though sometimes Mon-El makes her question that.)

Just as she’s about tackle him to the ground, some scuffling in the back distracts her, and she finds herself being tossed into the air, landing heavily onto the ground.

“Oh no, Kara, I thought you were going to dodge, usually you kick my ass—”

“—I was _distracted_ ,” Kara interrupts, pushing herself up and turning around. “Winn? What’re you doing here?”

“Kara, hi,” he says, fidgeting. “I was hoping you could do something for me. Something small, something miniscule. Nothing really to speak of.”

“What is it, Winn?”

“Put in a good word for me with Lena?”

“She already knows you’re my friend—”

“—no, not as Kara Danvers,” Winn says, shrugging crookedly and twiddling his thumbs. “Um, as Supergirl.”

“You want me, as Supergirl, to tell Lena you’re great?”

“Yeah. She’s…well, I want to impress her. And what better way to do that than have Supergirl’s vote of approval?”

“How am I supposed to casually slide that into the conversation? Like, ‘oh thanks Lena for helping us with Cadmus, by the way, Winn is really great.’”

“That’d work for me,” Mon-El says, prompting Winn to flash him a grateful smile.

“Come on, Kara, please?” Winn asks, stressing the final word, his voice getting high. “Be the best wingman a guy could ask for.”

“Yeah, yeah. Fine,” Kara says, waving Winn off. “When I see Lena again, I’ll make sure to mention you.” (She could mention bad things. Like how Winn spends too much time playing video games. Or how he can hit really high notes when singing. Or…or, she just might not see Lena for quite some time. Maybe conveniently forget?)

“You’re the greatest friend I could’ve ever asked for,” Winn says enthusiastically, jumping forward and hugging Kara tight. When the guilt begins to pool in her chest, Kara realizes she could never be so cruel to her best friend. So what if her own heart takes a hit to help Winn with his? If there’s one thing Alex has taught her, it’s how to be selfless.

(Well, that and a great recipe for mac and cheese and how to cheat at poker.)

x

Her first chance to get Lena alone while she’s Supergirl comes not two days later, when Lena takes a break from helping Winn and is roaming aimlessly around the DEO. Kara had been trying to convince J’onn to let M’gann go, especially now that Alex had found a way to reverse the effects of her blood. But much like always, J’onn is stubborn and Kara is too impatient to keep at it for to long. (She thinks banging her head against a wall would yield more results than an attempt to get J’onn to do something he doesn’t want to do.)

So naturally, in her attempt to avoid J’onn, Kara runs into Lena.

“Oh! Supergirl! Just the person I wanted to see,” Lena says, her smile wide and cheery. Kara feels her stomach twist unpleasantly, remembering what she promised Winn and not appreciating the pang in her chest at the very thought.

“You wanted to see me?” Kara mumbles, attempting not to feel warm. It’s not like she wants to see Kara the way she wants to see Winn. Obviously. She probably just wants Kara to do something for her, like the night of the gala.

“Yes, I was hoping you could let me take a look at your cape? Winn mentioned that it’s from Krypton.”

“Right, Winn mentioned.” She must sound more bitter than she intends, because Lena’s smile falters for a moment.

“Sorry, is there…something wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong, Ms. Luthor. Yes, the cape is from Krypton. It was a gift from my cousin.”

“Would you mind if I ran a few tests? Can you imagine how useful such durable fabric could be? It would revolutionize the clothing industry.”

“Actually, I do mind,” Kara says, perhaps a little shortly. She softens when she notices the flicker of something (annoyance? anger? hurt?) in Lena’s eyes. “My poisonous alien is still on the loose. I’m afraid I need the cape. Perhaps another time?”

“Yes, of course. Another time.”

Kara nods and is about to turn away when she remembers her promise once more.

“By the way,” she says, trying to exude confidence when mostly she feels nauseous, “Winn is pretty great. He’s one of the best people I know.” Lena only has time for a confused look before Kara’s gone.

x

She meets Lena for coffee the next day, agreeing to it mostly because she’s so relieved to have finally gotten the poisonous alien wreaking havoc around National City. She regrets the choice almost immediately when she sees Lena sitting at a table, a cup of tea in front of her, flipping a page of book. (She pretends she doesn’t want to be there anymore because she’s just remembered the whole _Winn_ situation. But really, she’s never seen Lena in jeans, and the sight leaves her breathless.)

“Kara!” Lena calls the second she notices her, closing her book and standing. “I’m so glad you could make it.”

“Oh I wouldn’t miss coffee with you,” she managed, straightening her glasses and fumbling a little with her bag. She takes a seat, feeling only slightly awkward, ordering a simple coffee when the waitress comes by.

“You know what’s the strangest thing?” Lena asks suddenly, ignoring Kara’s fingers tapping away on the table. “I think I’ve somehow upset Supergirl.” (This is news to Supergirl.)

“Sorry?”

“She just…she seemed a little terse with me? As if she didn’t want to talk to me. Would you know if she’s said anything? If I’ve done anything?” She seems so worried, so earnest, that Kara suddenly feels the urge to confess all—from the horrifying jealousy to the terrible promise. Instead, she smiles a the waitress as she accepts her coffee and takes a sip to buy herself some time.

“Um. Well. Supergirl doesn’t actually talk about things like that with me. We’re not…close.”

“You keep your source professional, I can respect that,” Lena says with a nod, though Kara doesn’t miss the disappointment that flashes over her face.

“You should just talk to her. I’m sure it’s nothing,” Kara tries, but Lena’s decided she’s shown enough vulnerability for one day, because her smile is fixed and her expression is clear when she waves a hand.

“It doesn’t even matter. I haven’t seen _you_ in a few days, and you’re far more important. Did Carr ever listen to your pitch about the organized crime groups?”

Kara knows a desperate bid for a subject change when she sees one. So she smiles, takes another sip of her too-expensive coffee, and talks about everything except the matter that brings a small crease between Lena’s brows.

(She tells herself its what Lena wants. But really, she’s just afraid that if she gives herself half the chance, her next words won’t be about Snapper Carr, but about how Supergirl is acting terse because Kara is jealous.)

x

Lena is leaning against the railing surrounding her balcony when Kara finds her. She’s drinking, her heels have been kicked off, her hair in a messy bun that Kara’s sure she’d _never_ allow during the workday. There’s a bit of ease around her shoulders, a tightness that’s absent for the first time Kara’s known her, but there’s more sadness around her eyes, almost as if it’s been etched into the fake smile she plasters onto her face the second she notices Kara.

“Supergirl—”

“—I’m sorry,” Kara interrupts, hovering a few feet away, “about a few days ago. I was upset about the alien and I took it out on you. But I have a sample for you.”

“I—thank you, Supergirl. And I understand. Sometimes I think being CEO of L-Corp is stressful before I remember people like you and Superman exist. I can’t imagine how hard it is to carry that much responsibility on your shoulders.”

“It’s not so bad.” She glides softly over and lands on the balcony, leaning against the railing as well. “The good outweighs the bad.”

“Still, it’s impressive.” Lena smiles at her, and Kara can’t help it, she laughs, managing a nod. They stand there in silence for a moment, and Kara is ready to leave, when Lena clears her throat. “You mentioned Winn the other day. Told me he’s great.”

“Right. He is.”

“I agree. Winn has been a good friend, but I’m not interested in being set up. Not even by Supergirl.” (Relief floods through Kara before she even has a chance to feel bad about it.)

(She’s a terrible, _terrible_ person. She doesn’t deserve the pizza Alex has ready for her at home.)

“You’re not single?” she asks, cursing herself as the words come out because that had _not_ been what she was trying to say. How difficult is a goodbye, really?

“I am. It’s just…well, there’s this reporter.” A strange look passes over Lena’s face as Kara’s heart begins to pound against her ribs. “But I’m not ready to say anything. I don’t want to lose my only friend.”

(Kara thinks her heart might combust.)

(She’s strangely okay with that.)

“Well, for what it’s worth, I think this reporter doesn’t know how lucky they are.” She rises a few feet in the air, trying not to feel too proud of the blush that rises on Lena’s cheeks at her words. “I’ll see you around, Ms. Luthor.”

(She apologizes to Winn later, tells him Lena is interested in someone else.)

(She’s impatient and hotheaded at times—most of the time—but this is different. Lena is worth the wait.) 


	13. jealous pt 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact: I won't even pretend to have known what the title for this fic was. in the word doc it's 'Lucy meets Lena??' as if it's in question and I didn't write this myself and didn't know that's exactly what happens. anyway, if anyone cares, apparently it was called denial. which I am in about everything

She doesn’t like her.

Lena can’t put her finger on why, though. It’s not her hair (admittedly, she has pretty hair). It’s not her smile (unfortunately, her smile is sincere and kind). It’s certainly not the uniform (sadly, Lena’s a little into it). It’s not even her smell (strangely, when Lena got a whiff of the other woman as she walked by, all she could think about was rainbows and sugarcane).

Lena just doesn’t like her.

It’s her attitude. (It’s not.) It’s the way she chatters away. (It’s not.) It’s the fact that she has so many friends who missed her. (It’s not.)

It’s not because Lena doesn’t like the way she touches Kara on the shoulder. It’s not because she doesn’t like their easy familiarity, something that hints at an intimate relationship. It’s definitely _not_ because Lena is jealous.

(It is, actually. It absolutely, positively is.)

“So you’re Lex Luthor’s sister?” Lucy asks, and Lena hears the inflection behind the rhetorical question. She hears the, _I don’t trust you_. She hears the, _your brother once kidnapped my sister to get to Superman_. She hears the, _you’re a Luthor, and I don’t like Luthors_. She hears the, _I only put up with you for Kara._

Not that Lena is jealous.

Not at all.

“I hear you’re Lois Lane’s little sister,” Lena replies, and she gets an impressed snort.

“Got it, family is a touchy subject,” Lucy says, sounding positively gracious, and that’s what annoys Lena, not the fact that Lucy’s comment earns a small laugh from Kara.

“I’m so glad you’re here. We were worried when we hadn’t heard from you for a while,” Kara says, smiling far too brightly for it to be genuine. Lena would almost say Kara is _nervous_ , but then, she has no reason to be. She hands both of them another beer, and while Lucy doesn’t look surprised when Kara begins to down her fourth drink of the night, Lena frowns a little.

“Are you all right?” she asks, reaching out to place a hand on Kara’s elbow. The reporter jumps—she literally tumbles right out of her seat—in her attempt to reassure Lena that she’s fine, causing Lucy Lane to chuckle heartily.

“Oh Kara, I see what Alex means now,” she says, rolling her eyes and taking a swig of her beer. And Lena is _not_ jealous of the tone, the hints at a history, the tacit _I know Kara better than you_. (Oh, but she _is_ , and it’s driving her mad.)

“Ahh haa,” Kara begins awkwardly, giggling a bit and straightening her glasses as she shoots Lucy a look, “we don’t have to talk about Alex.”

“Why? Scared, Danvers?” Lucy says, leaning forward as she pushes her beer away. “Why shouldn’t we talk about Alex, she’s had a lot to say about _you_.”

“Has she told you about Maggie?” Kara says quickly, eyes flickering towards Lena briefly before she faces Lucy once more. And look, Lena’s not a _suspicious_ person, but this entire exchange is making her…well, it’s making her feel terribly skeptical. 

(She’s not _stupid_ , she knows there’s something going on, and quite honestly, she doesn’t like how this feels.

It reminds her of her teenage years.

The very thought makes her shiver.)

“I should go,” Lena says suddenly, getting to her feet so quickly that her chair literally screeches as it drags against the floor, something that she’d only seen in movies. (She’s never been so emotional before, she’s never had occasion to push a chair so roughly it protests the movement.)

While Lucy frowns at Lena’s sudden announcement, Kara looks stricken.

“Wait, no! We haven’t—”

“—I’m sorry, Kara,” Lena says, though she doesn’t feel all that sorry at all. She _wants_ to escape. And it’s not because she’s jealous. (But…well, it is.) “I have a meeting early tomorrow morning. But this has been…illuminating.” She plasters on her best fake smile and turns to Lucy. “It was good to meet you.” (Normally, she’d say ‘ _great._ ’ Purely out of habit. But she’s never been less enthused by anything than meeting Lucy Lane.)

Kara attempts once more to speak up and change Lena’s mind, but Lena doesn’t really give her a chance. She waves and makes her (awkward) exit.

x

Of _course_ Lucy would work at the DEO. It’s as if everyone Kara knows works there.

Lena is helping Winn run tests on some nanotech he’s developing (and though he won’t say for what, Lena suspects it’s for National City’s newest vigilante, if Winn’s excitement and chosen color scheme is anything to go by) when she sees it: Lucy Lane putting her hand on Supergirl’s shoulder, laughing at something the Kryptonian has said, leaning into each other like they’re more than just friends.

(It’s how Lucy treats Kara, and Lena is understandably _angry_ that Lucy would step out on the reporter.

Kara deserves _better_. It merely goes unsaid—if not un-thought—that _Lena_ is better.)

“You all right?” Winn asks, his eyes on Lena’s clenched fists, his eyebrows raised. When Lena just nods, he lets out a chuckle. “Right, so you’re not contemplating punching Lucy and Supergirl.”

“Just Lucy, actually.”

“You’re jealous,” Winn says, and when Lena’s eyes flick over to him, he looks resigned, he looks like he understands. “Don’t worry, there’s nothing going on between Lucy and Supergirl.”

“What about Kara?”

“What? What about Kara?” he asks, his voice getting high, making Lena frown—she knows from experience that when his voice gets high, he’s lying. (That’s something else all of Kara’s friends seem to share, they’re all terrible liars. Ironic, considering they work at a secret government organization.)

“Is there anything between Lucy and Kara?” Lena elaborates, watching Winn’s expression, waiting for the crestfallen look—waiting for the confirmation. But instead, Winn smiles, almost…well, almost _mischievously._

(She doesn’t like it. It makes her feel as if she’s missing something and that’s never something she appreciates.)

“You like _Kara_ ,” he says, chuckling even if there’s something sad in his eyes. “Of course you do. Who doesn’t?”

“I don’t understand.”

“She’s, um, well…” He stops, rubs the back of his neck, looking terribly uncomfortable suddenly. “Kara’s easy to fall for, you know?” It’s clear he’s speaking from experience, but Lena chooses not to question him on it—not to ask what happened—because it’s also startlingly obvious that whatever happened isn’t a good memory. “But you don’t have to worry about Lucy. I’m 60% sure she still loves James. Or her work. Or that barista who always gets her coffee order just right.” He frowns, looking a little lost and then shrugs, motioning for Lena to follow him, leaving a chatting Supergirl and Lucy Lane behind as they take an impromptu break. “I admit, I don’t actually know Lucy all that well. I started working here after she went on her mission. And before the DEO…well, honestly, I didn’t want to go anywhere near the Lucy, James, and Kara situation.” He doesn’t seem at all inclined to elaborate, and Lena shares his reluctance. She doesn’t want to hear about it.

“She and Kara seem really close.”

“You’d be surprised how close a trip on motorcycles can make you,” he says in a deadpan, holding up his hands when Lena just stares at him. “Look,” he begins, letting out the tiniest of sighs. “If you like Kara…just tell her. For what it’s worth, I don’t think you have anything to worry about.”

“Has Kara said something?”

“Well, no. It’s just—in hindsight, a lot of things make sense now. Just tell her, Lena. Everything will work out.”

(And look, Lena was absolutely going to tell Kara everything—well, _almost_ everything, she didn’t really want to admit that she was jealous of Lucy—so when it doesn’t happen, it’s not her fault. It’s not like she chickened out.

She doesn’t _plan_ to be kidnapped.)

x

She wakes up to a masked man staring down at her, a piece of alien tech in his hands, what she supposes is the barrel of the alien weapon pointed directly at her face.

“I want Supergirl,” he tells her, his voice coming out as barely a hiss. “And you’re going to give her to me.”

“How?” she asks, tugging on her bound hands and raising her eyebrows. She’s in a dirty warehouse, filled with enormous wooden cases, the sound of planes taking off in the distance. She wonders if they’re in an unused airport hangar. “How do you expect me to do anything?”

“I don’t need you to _do_ anything. You’re the bait.” Then, without warning, he swings his alien weapon, Lena feels a blinding pain in the side of her head, and the world goes dark.

x

She wakes up the second time to the sound of fighting.

Her eyes flutter open, and she sees Supergirl using her heat vision from where she hovers high up in the air. She’s about to open her mouth when she feels a tug on her arms, and to her shock, it’s Lucy who’d frantically attempting to untie her as Supergirl is tossed out of the air with a well-timed shot of the alien weapon (gun? it seems like a gun).

“Let’s get you out of here, Luthor,” Lucy says with a grin, shouldering almost all of Lena’s weight as she pulls her to her feet, catching her before Lena can stumble.

“I think I have a concussion,” Lena mumbles, blinking rapidly as Supergirl charges the man in the mask once more. He must not be human because he doesn’t crumple after one of her punches—instead, he seems to be holding his own.

“We’ll get Alex to check you out, but for now, we’ve got to get you out of here.”

“But Supergirl—”

“—can take care of herself,” Lucy says, dragging Lena with her as she heads towards the hangar’s exit. “She’d kill me if I let anything happen to you.” The comment makes no sense—honestly, why would _Supergirl_ care that much about Lena?—but her head hurts far too much to question it, so she just nods, aware enough to see a green alien fly in to help Supergirl (though there’s about three of them, which can’t be right) before her eyes flutter shut and she passes out again.

x

The third time she wakes up is quite possibly the best, because instead of a man in a mask and Lucy Lane, she wakes up to Kara Danvers smiling down at her in the way only she can.

“Where are you glasses, Kara?” Lena asks as she attempts to sit up (only attempts because as soon as she tries to, someone pushes down on her shoulder, forcing her to remain laying down). She blinks several times when Kara doesn’t answer, and she realizes why—the person she thought was Kara is actually Supergirl, her blue suit and cape standing out in the DEO’s grey medical bay.

“Confusion is common after a concussion,” says another voice, this one from the other side of Lena’s bed. She turns a little to see Alex leaning against the bed, her hand still on Lena’s shoulder. “And you had one hell of a concussion. A little rest and it’ll pass.”

“Thank you.”

“Right. Well, I’ll leave you two alone.” With a knowing smile, Alex squeezes Lena’s shoulder and pushes off the bed, leaving the medical bay without another word. It’s unfortunate, because now Lena has no excuse to keep looking anywhere but at Supergirl.

“You gave us all a scare there,” Supergirl says lightly, pulling up a chair and sitting down. Lena doesn’t know how to respond to that, so she just stays silent. “It seems the alien I took care of last week had an angry friend.”

“Why kidnap me?”

“He seemed to think we were more than friends since I helped out at your gala.”

“He must not know about Kara,” Lena says without thinking, watching in fascination as Supergirl’s cheeks flare, as she averts her eyes, as her hands come up to eyes…as if to straighten glasses that aren’t there. Lena’s eyes narrow.

(Even after a concussion, Lena’s not _stupid_.)

“I’m just glad you’re okay,’ Supergirl says once she’s managed to compose herself.

(Literally everyone she knows works at the DEO. Why shouldn’t _she_ work at the DEO, too? How is it that glasses and a ponytail had been such an effective disguise?)

(Lena thinks back to last week, thinks back to Kara’s uncharacteristic silence and Supergirl’s strange moods and honestly, she’s shocked it took her this long to figure this out.

Kara is the worst liar ever, how had she managed to hide _this_ for so long?)

“Right,” Lena says, perhaps just a little harshly. “My head does still hurt,” from the fact that it turns out her only friend in National City is _Supergirl_ , “so I think I’ll take Alex’s advice and rest.” Supergirl, sorry _Kara_ , nods as she stands, but before she can turn to leave, Lena reaches out and grabs her hand. “Thank you. For coming after me.” Kara, sorry _Supergirl_ , smiles brightly, and once again it occurs to Lena that she must’ve been blind to not have noticed they were one and the same (doubly embarrassing as she’s devoted so much time to staring at Kara).

“Always,” Kara says, and though Lucy waits for Kara outside the medical bay, Lena doesn’t feel any jealousy.

She doesn’t know why, but she doesn’t question it.

x

She sees Kara again several days later, the two of them taking a walk as they sip coffees from a place Kara swears by. They’re chatting about everything and anything—though Lena decides to keep the fact that she knows who Kara really is to herself, at least for now—when Kara casually mentions that Lucy told her to be brave before she left again. It’s such an odd and random comment that Lena thinks nothing of it until Kara suddenly stops and surges forward, one hand cradling the back of her neck as she pulls Lena in for a kiss.

And when she can think clearly again, Lena silently thanks Lucy and regrets her cold send off.


	14. abandoned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact: posting this just cause I like it. sorry to everyone who has email alerts to my fics

He tells her he has to go home, and she isn’t quite sure why she’s so surprised.

(It’s not abandonment, she tells herself. She’s never been _abandoned._ She’d been too young to question why her parents put her in that pod alone—why one of them didn’t come with her, why more people hadn’t been warned about Krypton’s immediate destruction, why nothing was put into place to save her people. She’d been too understanding when Clark told her she needed a real family on Earth, too calm when he distanced himself and kept to mostly text messages and the occasional visit. She’d been too involved with hurt to notice Alex slipping away from her, James and Winn leaving her, J’onn finding new family without her.

She’s never been abandoned. She knew Clark was always a flight away, that James and Winn would come running at the first admission she needed them, that even now Alex and J’onn were hovering off to the side, waiting for the moment Kara was alone and could assess her emotional state. Kara tells herself she’s never been abandoned.

Yet it doesn’t stop her from feeling as if she has—again and again and again.)

Clark tells her that she’s stronger than him, in the charmingly awkward way he has, a clumsy attempt to provide support and praise, things that Kara’s always wanted from the cousin she still sometimes knows as only a stranger. He tells her he isn’t sure he could’ve made the same choice had it been Lois.

(And here’s the thing: she’s always known she’s stronger than Clark. Arrogant or not, she has. She knew she was stronger when she bore Krypton’s loss on her own, when she made the most of a new world and new family and a loneliness that only Alex ever managed to keep at bay, when she put on the S and it _meant_ something to her—not super, not hope, but the admission that everyone sometimes needs help, that strength came from togetherness.

And here’s the thing: Clark mentions Lois, but Mon-El was never her Lois. He wasn’t her Iris. He wasn’t her Felicity. Because Clark fought for Lois, and Iris made Barry think of others first, and Felicity softened Oliver. But Mon-El…she made _him_ better. He wasn’t her Lois—she was his.)

(Between the pain of yet another loss—raising the question of when she’ll ever stop _losing_ , when it’ll finally end—she wonders why sacrifice is a measure of strength at all. She wonders if Clark realizes that pressing that button Lena gave her was hard, but that she doesn’t regret it, will never regret it, that she in fact would do it over again in a heartbeat.

She wonders if Clark realizes that in that moment—between the ache of losing someone else and the knowledge that she made the right choice—she felt more herself than she has in months.) 

Clark’s departure feels as it always does, leaving her aching for a world that’s lost forever, a people who no longer exist, a culture only she truly understands. She watches him fly away and the familiar loneliness and tinge of nostalgia for what could’ve been sets in, and she’s grateful for it because it manages to distract her from the constriction of her ribs against her lungs, the fact that it’s hard to breathe as her chest attempts to become accustomed to the presence of another loss lodging itself next to her heart.

(She’d told him she loved him and in a way she did. She loved that he reminded her of Krypton, loved that he made her feel less alone, loved that he made a valiant attempt at humor.

But she loves James for his goodness and need to help others. And she loves Lena for her bravery and selflessness. And she loves Cat for her relentless search for truth.

And Kara wonders if it makes her a terrible person that she loved Mon-El for the way he made her feel and not for who he actually was.)

Clark is long gone, likely already nearing Metropolis, excited to see Lois. For a moment, Kara allows herself to imagine the scene that’ll play out: Lois’ smile, her relief that Clark is home, her smirk as she points out Earth has a new champion. Kara closes her eyes and can see Lois bustling about, frantically working on an article for Perry White as she scolds Clark for not even calling.

(She hasn’t admitted this aloud to anyone, not now and likely not ever, but Kara is _so_ terrified of not having that. She was so afraid that she and James wouldn’t work she wasn’t even willing to try, and with Mon-El it was _easy_. He was there and he was like her in a lot of ways and she knew her heart wouldn’t break if it didn’t work.

Because _Rao_ she’s hurt that he’s gone but her heart? Still intact and still beating, feeding into the notion that she’s just used to this sort of pain.)

She hears Alex come up to her, but she doesn’t turn to look at her, not wanting to see concern or fear on her sister’s face. And she _longs_ for Alex to pull her into a hug, she wants her sister to hold her so tightly that she can’t breathe, wants Alex to keep the loneliness and the hurt at bay like she always has.

But Kara’s learned. And she’s not so selfish anymore.

(Her hand reaches for the necklace out of habit and she’s hit with a wave of guilt as she remembers it’s not there. She’s not sure why she feels guilty, for giving away the last thing of her mother’s, for doing it out of a sense of obligation, for making it seem as if giving the necklace to Mon-El was the same as giving it to Alex the year before.

Because it wasn’t the same. Giving the necklace to Alex held meaning for _Kara._ Giving the necklace to Mon-El held meaning for _him_.

She wonders why she keeps making that distinction.)

Alex doesn’t reach out for her, doesn’t hold onto her cape and refuse to let her go, and on some level, Kara’s glad for it. She has work to do—she needs to help with rebuilding, help with stopping looting, help with comforting the scared and the worried.

She’s glad for it because she knows if Alex holds her, if Alex gives her that look that clearly says she’d do anything for Kara, then she’ll break down, she’ll fall apart as she crumbles beneath the weight of bringing Myriad to National City and now bringing a Daxamite invasion.

(It’s her _fault_. Her fault for being so weak when it came to Astra, her fault for being the reason Mon-El stayed. Her mother’s fault that Krypton was never warned, her father’s fault that innocents died thanks to Medusa, _her_ fault.

How many more people had to _die_ because of her?

So what if focusing on Mon-El’s departure is distraction enough for the guilt that threatens to drown her, so what if Mon-El’s loss hurts but the knowledge that innocents—alien and human, Daxamite and citizens of National City—were killed and lost because _Kara_ hadn’t been enough makes her heart pound and her blood feel like acid and the sensation that it’s too much can’t be overwhelmed by tuning into Alex’s heartbeat or voice. Not this time.

So what if she’s almost relieved she can focus on Mon-El and not on the fact that she hasn’t been much of a hero at all.)

Alex doesn’t keep her from leaving, doesn’t say the words Kara’s looking for (though admittedly she’s not quite sure what those words are, just that she _needs_ to hear them), and so Kara takes refuge in the sky.

Alone.

x

After first revealing herself to the world, Kara had to figure out more inconspicuous ways to change into her suit when she had Supergirl business to attend to. For CatCo, that meant finding abandoned balconies or racing to the roof, and for her apartment it meant keeping a change of clothes in a tightly sealed bag behind a dumpster in the alley.

Landing in that alleyway now, exhausted and covered in dust (trying not to think about where that dust came from), Kara pulls clothes over her suit wearily, the trek up to her apartment feeling longer and harder than ever. (Maybe because she knows there’s no one waiting for her now. Maybe because in the darkness of her own home she’ll finally be forced to confront everything that happened: the invasion, the deaths, the blame resting squarely on her shoulders. Maybe because nothing sounds worse than being alone with her own thoughts.)

It’s when she’s halfway up the stairs that she notices something is off.

(She can hear footsteps and chatter and more heartbeats than usual for her building.

She can hear clatter, a curse, a hushed ‘ _Stop it, Maggie_!’

She smells potstickers and pizza and wine.

And Kara can’t help it: she smiles.)

When she reaches her door, she opens it warily, knowing what she’ll see but still not quite sure if it’s real or if in her grief and guilt she’s just imagining it.

But she blinks and the scene does not change:

Clark, Winn, and James stand in the kitchen, James laughing at Winn’s expression as he watches Clark talk.

Maggie is chatting with Lucy, looking terribly impressed as Lucy’s waves her hands in an attempt to describe an alien she had to work with alongside her father.

Alex, J’onn, and M’gann are seated on the couch, discussing the White Martians and potential for change, Alex seriously nodding along as M’gann describes how her people _could_ be saved.

“Alex called me,” Lena says softly, and Kara knows—from the determined way no one looks her way—that Lena’s been named the ambassador, that she’s the one who’ll relay whatever Kara’s feeling to the others. “She said she thought I would be the best person for you to talk to. Since…well. Because of Jack.” Lena closes the door behind Kara and gently takes her hand, pulling her away from the others and towards the window. (Kara can feel Alex’s eyes on her back, can sense J’onn’s worry, Clark’s fear. But she ignores it all in favor of focusing her attention on Lena—on her heartbeat, her steady breathing, the thrum of her blood in her veins. _Alive._ _And present_.) “I hope you don’t mind, but I thought I should bring everyone together.”

“I don’t—how did you know?”

(She’s not sure she knows what she’s asking, but on some level, Lena must understand, because her answering smile is small and sad and oh so sympathetic.)

“Winn told me that the S on Supergirl’s suit doesn’t stand for super or hope. And partially,” here she grins, looking terribly pleased, “I think he was just trying to rile up my mother, but it made sense to me.”

“What did?”

“ _El mayarah,_ ” she says, and _oh_ it’s said clumsily and for a moment Kara can see Astra, laughing as Kara tried to learn the names of all their constellations, fumbling through the pronunciations. “You taught me that, you know. Stronger together. Just by being there for me—or well for all of us—when we needed you. And now you need us.”

And there are a lot of questions swirling in Kara’s mind, from how Lucy got here to how Lena knew that Kara would want Clark around. She wants to ask, she does, but Lena’s smiling and her eyes are sad and Kara realizes their hands are still laced together.

“You went through a lot, I should’ve been there for you immediately after but I—”

“I’m here with you now,” she interrupts easily, brave as ever, selfless as ever, and Kara loves her more than ever.

“I can’t believe you’re all here,” Kara says, and she must say it louder than she intends—or perhaps she’s not as hard to read as she likes to think—because there’s a splattering of laughter behind her. When she turns, she realizes everyone has gravitated to the couches, perched on arms of chairs and sprawled on the floor, pizza boxes and drinks getting passed around. She follows Lena and settles on the floor, her back pressed against Alex’s legs, the comforting weight of J’onn’s hand falling onto her shoulder. She accepts the pizza James hands her, smiles back at Clark, chuckles at one of Winn’s jokes, and listens to Lucy regale them with all her mad stories about working with her father.

(She knows, she does, that there’s so much left to do and say. She knows that Lena’s hurt and guilty—just like Kara, though Lena has no reason to blame herself—and she knows that Alex will be going through every moment of the past year, attempting to figure out when they stopped talking freely. She knows that she’ll have to confront her issues with abandonment, but she also knows she’ll be fine.

Because she’s always told herself she wasn’t actually abandoned, but she’s never really felt that way until now.)


	15. nice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact: it's been found!!!! big thank you to @ladyinaria on tumblr

Not to brag, but Lena knew that she was awfully bright. It wasn’t arrogance or pretention, she genuinely knew she was gifted because she’d had no choice to be anything else: between her father, mother, and Lex, exceptionality was just...expected. Required. 

Thus, it was more than a little outrageous that for all of Lena’s brains and cleverness, she couldn’t figure out Kara. She couldn’t understand Kara’s  _ deal _ . She didn’t know how to explain, quantify, comprehend, or even  _ describe _ Kara. All she knew was that for some inexplicable, incomprehensible, totally baffling and mystifying reason, from the moment she had met Kara, the bubbly journalism student had been willing to go to extraordinary lengths to do things for her. 

Now, Lena wasn’t self-involved. She didn’t think she was particularly special beyond her propensity for physics. And she had  _ seen _ Kara do nice things for other students, some total strangers and some not. She knew Kara helped one of the older professors in the geology department move all his very valuable rocks when he retired (despite the fact she’d never taken a geology class in her life); she knew Kara had tutored a freshman girl in biology; she knew every Friday Kara volunteered at the local soup kitchen; she even knew that Kara walked the pets of the students in her apartment building during finals, allowing the mass of dogs to drag her down the street with a giggle. 

And yet...and yet Kara was  _ particularly _ nice to her. 

Like the time Kara sat with her in the library for hours, despite the fact she was feeling miserable and still recovering from her bout with the flu, all because she knew Lena couldn’t be in there alone (not when Lex was making headlines again, not when whispers followed her around on campus and people eyed her with suspicion). 

Or like the time Kara borrowed her sister’s car for a day so that she could help Lena run errands around town, including waiting in the lobby of LuthorCorp for several hours while Lena sat through a very dull meeting. 

Or even the time Kara came over to her apartment, laden with chocolate and wine, all because Lena had mentioned in passing that she was sad.

(In addition to Lena’s brilliance, living with the Luthors had gifted her with a healthy dose of suspicion and skepticism. Thus, Lena’s first thought when Kara’s kind acts began was that Kara wanted something from her —money, sex, a favor, Lena didn’t know. But when Lena attempted to offer money, she was flatly refused. When she made a joke about ‘Netflix and chill,’ Kara had chuckled and kept a respectful distance. When Lena had mentioned she knew Cat Grant fairly well and could probably help Kara find a job upon graduation, Kara had shrugged and said she wanted to earn any position she got at CatCo. 

It was maddening. It was confusing. It was downright strange. 

In all her life, Lena had never known someone to do something for nothing—Kara was an enigma, an anomaly, an absolute mystery.) 

Kara’s acts of kindness thus continued, sprinkled in with all the things they ordinarily did, things like making dinner together, watching movies, shopping trips, and a weekly or biweekly ‘fun’ activity that consisted of something neither of them had done before, and Lena found herself suddenly not only wanting Kara around, but  _ needing _ her. 

(If Lillian ever caught wind of such a thing, she’d probably suffer a stroke then and there, purely out of shame. 

But Lena didn’t mind needing Kara. In fact, the kindest of all of Kara’s acts was that at the end of a long day—regardless of the time—Lena always knew she could text or call Kara, and more importantly, that the reverse was true as well.) 

But for all of Lena’s brains, she missed entirely what should’ve been obvious from the get go: it was only a matter of time before feelings got involved. 

Lena’s heart, which had a massive disconnect from her brilliant brain, was slow on the uptake, and it took months upon months of Kara being at her side before she realized that the flutter in her chest when Kara took her hand, or the warmth that flooded through her when Kara smiled at her, or that little sigh that escaped her lips whenever Kara pulled her into a hug, was all indicative of something bigger—something  _ greater _ . 

Like an utter dope, Lena fell in love with her best friend—her very nice, very sweet, very good, very  _ straight _ , best friend. 

And Lena didn’t know what to do. 

x

Kara was, as Alex put it,  _ whipped _ . 

She’d met Lena on accident, having mumbled something out loud while waiting for the library to open one morning, only to hear a beautiful laugh from beside her—a laugh emanating from the most beautiful person she’d ever set eyes on. 

The beautiful person—Lena, she said she was called, Lena  _ Luthor _ , as if Kara should care about the last name, as if Kara listened to a word of Clark’s warnings—mentioned she was having trouble with a fairly persistent guy, and thus it began.

The excuses. The reasons to spend time together. The offers to help, to carry heavy groceries, to take Alex’s car and offer rides, to have coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, anything and everything as long as Lena was willing to spend a few hours in her company. 

(Kara knew Lena was suspicious, knew that Lena was overthinking it, knew that what Lena needed the most was a friend—a good, honest friend. So she made sure to never take money, to avoid all mentions of physical attraction, to refuse any help in return. 

She even made up a fake person she was supposedly ‘interested in,’ so that Lena could feel comfortable around her, so that Lena could be sure that there was nothing but the purest of friendships between them. 

Kara shoved all her feelings for Lena deep, deep, deep down because she was unwilling to let anything compromise what they’d built together. So what if it was hard, so what if it hurt? Lena was still hung up on Jack—the ex, the one that got away, the one she thought she’d eventually go back to—and Kara was a glutton for pining.) 

Kara was rather sure the arrangement could have lasted forever. Perhaps that wasn’t healthy, perhaps that wasn’t realistic, but she thought it was true. As long as Lena wanted her around, Kara would be around. 

She just didn’t know why Lena didn’t want her around anymore. 

(It started slowly, the distancing. It was a missed text here and there. It was not having dinner together, it was not studying together. 

It was less laughter, more silence; it was no more excuses to hang out, more reasons to be apart.) 

Kara was, as Alex put it,  _ whipped _ . So there must’ve been something said about how patient she was, how she allowed Lena her distance, how she accepted the new tension fairly easily. 

At least, there must have been something said for the two weeks she allowed it. 

Their schedules finally aligned long enough for them to go out for coffee when Kara broke down, unable to shove the desperation down the same way she was able to shove her feelings down. 

“Are you upset with me?” she asked Lena tightly, staring at a point above Lena’s shoulder as they sat down at their table, both of them ignoring the other students milling about them. 

“No,” Lena answered, sounding strained. “Why do you ask?”

“You’ve been avoiding me.”

“I haven’t.”

“Lena,” Kara admonished lightly, shaking her head and meeting Lena’s eyes for the first time since sitting down. Whatever effect Kara had thought her sternness would have, she certainly didn’t expect Lena’s flare of anger.

“You know, you’ve been driving me crazy,” she said, pushing her coffee cup to the side and leaning forward. Her eyes narrowed. “I feel...stupid. And I don’t like it.”

“I make you feel stupid?”

“No—well, yes. A little.”

“I don’t understand—” Kara began, unsure how their conversation had gotten so derailed. 

“—why do you do the things you do? Why are you so nice to me? You’re  _ too _ nice to me.”

“Am I?” Kara mumbled, heart pounding. 

“I don’t get it,” Lena continued, as if she hadn’t even heard Kara, “I don’t get why you do the things you do. You don’t get anything out of it.”

“I got you,” Kara said softly, her words shocking Lena enough that she slumped back into her chair. “We’re friends.” 

“Friends aren’t as good as you’ve been good to me,” Lena argued, though she was less adamant, almost disappointed sounding. And not for the first time, Kara felt a surge of hope.

(It was like the time Lena had joked about Netflix and chill, but had spent the entire night texting Jack, dashing all of Kara’s hopes.

Dashing the hours upon hours of pep talks she’d given herself and the motivational speech Alex had given her for courage when she left for Lena’s apartment.) 

Lena stared Kara down, and Kara steeled herself, deciding it was now or never—she could be brave once, even if it made things awkward. 

“Lena, come on,” Kara found herself saying, unsure if she was making a mistake. “You know why. It’s got to be obvious.”

Lena swallowed, eyes wide. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I thought you were still into Jack.”

“No,” Lena said, sounding dazed. “And the person you’re interested in?”

“Made him up. It’s you. It’s been you since I met you.” 

“So it  _ was _ sex that you wanted,” Lena said, eyes suddenly narrowing and suspicion flooding her tone. 

Kara laughed. 

“I just want you, whatever you’re willing to give.”

And Lena’s answering smile was all the response Kara wanted or needed.

**Author's Note:**

> send me prompts/say hi on tumblr @c-optimistic


End file.
